How I Quit Smoking

Thinking of quitting smoking being your New Year’s Resolution this year? Well then dudes, check this out. – oh and dudes, I’m not getting paid to say this stuff, although payment would be nice (hint hint, big pill company).

Back in early highschool, I did what any cool kid would do – I started smoking. I hated them for about a month. But then I loved them and was addicted. And I looked damn cool.

After my first daughter was born, but before she would start remembering things, I decided that I needed to quit smoking. I knew it wasn’t good for me, I wanted to be around to watch her grow up, and most importantly, I didn’t want her to start smoking because she saw me doing it.

Oh, and once you’re all grown up, it doesn’t look cool anymore.

I tried to go cold turkey, because I’m a tough guy and don’t need any help. That didn’t work.

I tried being “smart” about it and slowly smoking less over time. That didn’t work so well either.

So I asked my doctor (I almost sound like a commercial) and he prescribed me this pill, Chantix. I took it for one day, decided it didn’t work, and was smoking again.

Finally I went back to my doctor and he prescribed me the same pill again. And he said that this time I had to “not be stupid” (his words!) and keep taking it. He said that I could keep smoking normally and just take 3 of these pills a day (morning, afternoon, evening), and magically, they would work.

Yeah whatever, doc.

I think I was 3 or 4 days into taking this pill when I bought a fresh, new pack of Parliament Lights. Man, I loved Parliament Lights. It had that new pack smell and everything. I lit up one of those ciggies, and dudes, I almost barfed everywhere.

I suddenly couldn’t stand the taste anymore. That cigarette was the most disgusting tasting thing ever! I only took one drag and threw it away. I crunched the Parliament Light pack in my hand, and said I was done.

I stopped taking the pill then too. I was done and that pill did what they were supposed to. I never wanted to smoke again, I was done.

I gave the rest of the pills to my brother-in-law, but I don’t think he ever took them.

Anyone who says those pills don’t work for them either weren’t taking them right (like I did the first time) or are looking for excuses. The side effects are supposed to be bad dreams, suicidal thoughts…I had some goofy dreams, but a few nights of bad dreams are worth it for a lifetime of no more smoking! Probably one dude out there had a suicidal thought on those pills, and I bet the company has to make the “suicidal thoughts” disclaimer to cover their as*es, but honestly dudes, no one is going to ice themselves on these pills.

You need a doctor’s prescription to get them. Without an insurance policy, I had to pay $150 out of pocket for them, but it was worth it. I just paid it. With the amount I used to spend on my Parliament Lights, $150 for a bottle of pills to quit was worth it.

3 months later I went back to the doctor and told him that the pills worked and it was amazing. He said, “Yep, if you follow it right, it works…people only come back for more pills because they don’t follow the directions right.”

Smokers take breaks on the job to smoke, and so I still take little breaks. Not to smoke though. I read a blog or two on my phone, or just sit and relax. Don’t need to smoke to take a little “smoke break” now and then.

And dudes, as an adult, there’s nothing cooler than telling people that I don’t smoke anymore.