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How Do You Know When an Attachment Is Unhealthy?

By Alyssa Martinez @ItsMariaAlyssa

Relationships can be some of the most wonderful experiences that you share with another person. However, there is a fine line between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy emotional attachment. It can be difficult to tell the differences between the two, so here are five signs you should be aware of to determine whether an unhealthy emotional attachment is present.

1. Experiencing Jealousy Or Distrust

One of the things that's discussed in an attachment therapy program is that if you are always spending time thinking about what your partner is doing, then it might be a sign of an unhealthy emotional attachment. it is natural to think about someone you love, especially when they're away from home, but if you feel out of control of your emotions when they're not around, then you don't have a reliable foundation of trust or you depend on that person to feel secure.

2. There Is No Balance In The Relationship

Balance is important in any relationship, but when it tips to one side more than the other, then it can become very unstable. This can result in one person being forced to make all of the decisions, even if they only affect one partner in the relationship. If you're incapable of making basic decisions on your own without your partner around, then you might have an unhealthy emotional attachment.

3. Struggling With Excessive Anger

Emotions are natural during certain situations, but an unhealthy connection may exist if you're becoming emotionally charged with anger more often than not. This kind of behavior can end up ruining a relationship if it is not addressed or corrected.

4. Having A Strong Need For Your Partner's Presence

Feelings of anxiety when your partner is not around are a good signal of an unhealthy connection. They have a hard time being independent of them, which is called "being enmeshed." This means that they feel lost and alone when their partner leaves and needs to be connected to them in some way. Being unable to deal with situations without your partner being there is unhealthy.

5. Your Partner Must Meet All Your Emotional Needs

When two people are in a healthy relationship, they are aware of each other's emotional needs and will do what they can to meet those needs. But they should also be comfortable with saying "no" when they do not feel comfortable meeting those needs. In an unhealthy relationship, one partner will become very aggravated when their needs aren't met, regardless of whether they've met their partner's emotional needs or not. The balance of give-and-take has been compromised, where one partner ends up feeling neglected.

If these behavioral patterns have occurred over a long period of time, then intervention may be necessary to improve the relationship or even save it. Mental health professionals need to get involved so that both partners can be put through therapy to "restart" the foundation of the relationship.

If you feel as if you or your partner has an unhealthy emotional attachment, speak to a therapist immediately to see what can be done for your relationship.


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