The harder the mind tries to get rid of the pain that is in you, the harder the pain comes to haunt you.. this sounds as though I am battling with the evils of what has been within my life.. the state of unconsciousness… the state of fighting what may come.. yes I do battle the evils of unconsciousness within me… I can see the right and wrong the light of darkness..the darkness of light.. it is in this time and this place that I may come to a head with the arsonist…
Who is the arsonist? My mind… Who is the chief of police who is trying to find the arsonist? Funny part is the arsonist is the chief of police… Yes the mind is still trying to stay in survival mode.. much when I can see the way life should be.. holding on to that which should have been let go.. the selfish act of wanting to stay in a realm of what is… You will never be free of this pain till you can let go.. You can topple the mind from this place of power and become what is meant to be… But how? How does one go about letting go of the place that can cause unconsciousness? How do you move forward when the circle you are in is the circle of what seems to be your only choice? The loud noise the mind makes to keep you there is more than most can even handle.. there is no outlet.. There is no place for the soul to release the drama… Why release something that will always be there? So many lives affected by this tool.. this arsonist.. this place of a pain that neither existed yesterday or tomorrow…
You can let go of that which you hold on too.. holding on.. can be something that can slowly grow you… but to truly let go.. you must do so with no need to hold on.. No open door you say? How do you have faith in that which is the unknown? How do you trust that which you are unsure you should trust? The child that sees the darkness as the only light is the light of the darkness that child will go to repeatedly…
The moments of time I get to sit and actually let everything in.. the time I spend feeling… It is as though I am in an alternate universe… not much can come into my mind.. I stay within that place… hearing answers… Answers I am not sure of the questions yet.
If asked the question do you want to be blissfully happy? How would you answer this? If asked the question are you ready to die? How would you answer this? If asked the question are you selfish? or what about… Are you willing to be in pain your whole life? Some would say they already are in pain.. or have the identity of pain… What if you were half awake and didn’t know you were still lying dormant for something that will come to you when you are fully awake.. What if you had this power in you to wake others but only until you help others to heal you could you truly wake them? Waking moments of life…
My life.. No history… No place in history… No dimension of time till I let go… How do I do that you ask? How do you let go? Let go of what exactly? Reaching inside myself… What is in me that needs to be let go of?
So much love inside of me.. So much more than what can be considered human.. it is lying dormant… lying dormant cause it is unable to be touched.. touched by whom? By myself.. How can I experience something I never give myself to give it to another? I want to have it touched.. not from a love out of this world.. but something beyond that inside this world that is inside me yet to be discovered….
I dream… I continue to dream… Very peaceful this place is when I do…
