Dear Clark: why is it so hard for people to open up when you have such a strong connection with someone?
Here is how suffering becomes the teacher.. As you are born you are going to experience things in your existence that will be the foundation of how you communicate, and how you share yourself even within the absence of seeing this communication and how it will impact others.
Now magnify this by the 9 billion or so other human beings that are on the planet and see the difference in how we all try to communicate, but don’t truly listen to others or even ourselves with compassion.
When was the last time you gave someone your ability to compassionately listen? When was the last time it was done for you? Do you understand the depth of the question that was asked?
Inside you in energy that you are is a place of vibration and as it vibrates so does the world outside you. It can cause friction or cause connection. When someone lacks the ability to open up to you inside of connection, it is because they were never given a glimpse of compassionate listening by you or anyone else. In other words, the words that would properly explain the place of love they are feeling within the connection are not able to be stated from them! As for someone who would take the time to learn or accept this about them to help them to heal it by choosing to be that person would be you in the connection.
If you were brought up in a family of 5 children you may either be vocal or silent. In either case the development to speak from a place inside you will seldom be in effect because the ego created in suffering of never being heard gave you what you heard inside yourself. How often would you listen if you were seldom heard or even given the opportunity.
This can also happen as a only child. It depends on the upbringing and how ofter the parents gave you the ability to be heard through compassionate listening not just about what you are thinking but how you feel. Remember a parent is less likely to give this to a child because of the ego created by parents to be dominant and protecting and knowing what is best for the child. How much could be learned if the child became the teacher to the parents?
Here is something to try.. If you know anyone with young children under the age of 6, here is how you can see this in real time to see what I am speaking of. If you find a boy who meets this age range. See how long he can hold a conversation before he runs out of things to say.. Listen with your whole body the intensity of this to a boy child will show you how he is growing when it comes to compassionate listening in thinking or feeling. He may find it uncomfortable or even want to go away from you. His eye contact will lessen over 30 seconds of noticing you are looking at him and paying direct attention. He will not be emotionally connected to you to understand where you are coming from. Unless he makes the effort he will be more comfortable with you by asking him what he is thinking rather than what he is feeling. Not because he is being brought up improperly but the male role model if any in his life is not showing him how to feel and what it means to just feel rather than think…
Now this will be entirely different if it is a female.. You either will understand where this points or will be in denial of it as it pertains to connection this is how the suffering continues.
What I am pointing to here is the place of separate experiences. The variables of what you think someone will do when they are faced with connection, will vary based on these principles. Know that because you experience the ability to communicate what you feel doesn’t mean that anyone else you connect with will be able to state it the same way. For them in some ways the connection will make them face things about themselves that are undiscovered, and make them feel out of their comfort zone cause they will feel abandoned by themselves cause they are seeking something of no understanding of it. This doesn’t mean they don’t feel it to the intensity that you do.. actually being this way sometimes will make their intensity stronger because they have no words. It can be translated in the passion they will feel to try and connect to you and you think it may be about the physical connection to them. Yet, something lurks in the background. For no matter who you are something there is powerful in connection. There will be no control in that type of environment and they will suffer.. They are suffering in either case but to suffer under the same suffering they have been through and stay within is better than trying to suffer in the unknown with no words and think repeatedly the suffering will bring annihilation. They will see nothing but chaos and chaos brings pain, unimaginable pain, not seeing the rebirth of this is why it is feared!
This is the suffering we stay within.. and don’t call it suffering, we will call it sadness, depression, loneliness, pain, etc.. You see how all of these are symptoms of suffering. The true disease without a cure. The truth as the cure is quite simple… Compassionate listening has always been the key, not just for others but for yourself to yourself to learn to do this for others.
Without Suffering you would not know relief… Without suffering you would not know compassionate listening.. without suffering you would not know silence of pain..without suffering you would not know birth or death.. Suffering is not limited to the design of love.. It is the parts of love needed to experience to know you can heal..
Without suffering we would not know peace.. Suffering has many forms but the common theme of suffering is the silence we all endure during it’s path to destruction..
How we heal takes compassion in love to listen without thinking.. for thinking is what caused suffering.. still does and the disease continues, not because we know the cure, but because we allow this disease to cause war, to cause pain, to cause abandonment! etc…
We don’t give suffering the cure for the disease because to do so means to heal and rid war.. family dysfunction, abuse, denial of right and wrong.
Your whole sense of suffering began with an ego and ends with ego.. but who are you if your ego is destroyed?
The birth of the spiritual path of love through compassion.. It is only the suffering that takes you to know there can be peace.. how do we get there?
You realize that to dissolve suffering you must be able to surrender to compassionate listening.. It is how you hear yourself and how you can hear others to know the energy you are and how you are never not disconnected!
Some will disagree completely with everything they don’t believe because it is there right.. their right not to listen to any truth or any painful design of truth because of their suffering.. Everything points to it and it takes more lives that it takes love!
How does suffering never reach this point in surrender? It doesn’t and it has won for centuries… when does it end? It always can end in the Now… How do you get the entire human race to see this.. One awakening at a time.. How long will that take? At this pace it will be to late.. Do you see the suffering in that?
This is why the open door to communication lacks an open door at all.. The mind says it will change how this person you are connected to will change how they view you. They can’t even see this as suffering either. The answer is peacefully with love inside of compassionate listening without any thoughts running inside you to what you hear and not to run, judge, attack, destroy, or seek finding yourself in what someone is stating to you and just listen and love and hold them through it. Anything else is your mind speculating and not experiencing them fully.. How do you experience a connection fully without this very thing?
Thank you for the question it spoke directly to the truth in connection. Are you sure them opening up isn’t about how you listen rather than how they can’t speak or is it that you need to make something up inside you that tells you that you aren’t connected cause they have no words.. Sometimes no words are louder about what they do feel than any words at all!
Love Deeply!
Clark
