When I first started writing I never saw the reason of how these words were supposed to end up or why they were flowing as they did.. what I did find was here with a purpose to not just allow a communication frequency that male and female could learn but to point to something that we have allowed to not even see as a place of deep connection within ourselves and how much power the human existence can have in potential to what can be truth of why we are here.
In our connection me and Lois have suffered and suffered some more. The more we suffered in disbelief the more complex the mind made it seem that we didn’t belong to each other. Yet inside of me I could feel her heartbeat, now don’t get me wrong I am saying my heart was full for her, I am saying her physical heart beat was somehow someway vibrating inside of my being. I could feel her true essence of her soul trying to comfort me, I always felt like I was having some sort of heart condition and spent a ton of money on doctors who could find nothing wrong with me.
During the time I was the chaser and she was the runner, she completely closed me off, and no matter how deeply I was in love with her. My feelings of abandonment that I had carried most of my existence activated my pain from my mind and I decided to be with someone else. As I made this decision, she decided to come back to me. She was at the door as this moment occurred. That feeling in my heart felt painful and miserable and it did’t stop me because I felt my pain from mental images my mind gave me that stated I was only going to endure more pain based on what was false in me. The truth was she was pregnant with another man’s baby, I actually was the one that felt the conception and told her weeks before any doctor could confirm this.
I begged and pleaded her to come with me and we would raise the child. Inside of her mind she fought with the right or wrong thing to do being with another and having a child with someone else. How could anyone see why this happened or even understand it. Society makes you chose certain things because well, we live in a world where what you see is what you get, which can be judgements and other things.
She saw this happening with me being with another and went back to the man she had conceived with, and they got married and she didn’t tell me. When I found out all I tried to do was give what I felt inside me to be true inside of my connection to another. Yes how painful was that to this person who didn’t comprehend the connection and was getting all the benefits of it? Do you know how painful this was to experience. Why I experienced it was on purpose. A few months into the pregnancy we had started to be friends again. I just felt as though I was always going to be in her life as she was always going to be in mine. I could feel her, I heard music in my head that she was listening to or singing to. As these moments went on the connection of what a vibrational twin flame union represents made it known what this connection was that was not able to be removed within us.
I laid in bed one night and as I was awakened at 2 in the morning I felt her heartbeat and then without any thought or mind made projection of her, I felt a tiny heartbeat beating so fast and so magical inside of her that was now inside of me to experience. I was completely freaked out. Yet, I was in awe. I had never experienced it and then knew beyond any shadow of any doubt this was the connection I dreamed but never knew was possible.
This is yet one of many unbelievable incredible experiences we shared to be together. The day he was born I felt this and said his name at work out loud in front of everybody and they wondered what I was talking about, yet I was just out of my mind.. get it, I was out of my mind. I then had realized why we weren’t together I had to find a way to get out of my mind. That was 2008. Yes there was more pain to come and more trials and more mountains to move. I wanted to point to this place as I do see women who believe in this connection because they can carry a created life and a man, well a man can experience this within this connection. It is the most powerful experience you can have that has answers in a place you never knew was possible. I am here to tell you it is. In so many ways it is. Your twin is here the same time you are, you just have lost faith or lost hope or lost something. I am telling you a truth inside me of what is the truth. I am not hear to make you believe it, I am only here to state the obvious. Why we were created is being used up on a material point of view that truly has gotten the best of us. How do you point back to the universe we are is found in this connection stated simply here.
Are we sure that we have gotten this correct?
Love deeply…
Lois and Clark
