Broken Trust?
I can’t forgive you… I can’t be with you… I can’t do this anymore… I can’t.. Whatever this is has a way of bringing you to a very shaky foundation in trust… We use these words in ego to signify that something in us is broke. When you become unstable in this way of trust the choice to make the right decision always will seem as though you are teetering from what is hindering destiny from coming to you… I can’t is the same as I won’t or the other words that follow such as i’ll try, or I am potential… the trust in all of this is on shaky ground. Isn’t it?
I have doubt, is also apart of trust. When you trust something will fail! What does it show you in the end that is the truth about what you said it would do happens…and…. FAIL will not abandon you! Then that what you said becomes that you were right! Is that what you are saying inside? A majority of us do! What about when you say I have been let down by others… Is this trust as well. Yes it is, because you are trusting that this will always be what you will receive outside you, don’t worry it does! Trust is a very powerful energy!
I have been through trust training and I realized that I didn’t trust a thing years ago and still didn’t wake up to it.. You can tell how much you trust when you do the trust fall… You always fear that someone will not catch you, and you will hit the ground, and get hurt. Sound like some choices you keep making in your existence here?
Another is the blindfold lead where someone is leading you and has to direct you with their common sense of directions.. The failure in that is that they can’t see what sinkholes are placed cause they are trying to get you through the trees… Someone who is completely aware of your path by leading this in front of you will always tell you the truth. They will endure the path with you and not lead you astray…. Do you see how this can be difficult without trust? Especially if they are not having you walk without them directly in front of you. How will they ensure you won’t get hurt if they are not willing to walk the path with you? Pay attention, the message here is deep!
The awakened truth about trust is that you trust you have one more day to do something significant, you have one more moment to make a difference in your own being and yet we all get caught up by the same choices doing the same thing over and over again. We find comfort in this energy of doing the same thing cause we trust it! Having the same thoughts, we trust nothing changes so it doesn’t.
When I decided that I was going to live in truth I realized that I didn’t trust… I didn’t trust I would be accepted for the truth and it proved me right. I wasn’t accepted… It wasn’t until I realized that being in my truth needed my trust just as much as I needed my love to get me through this broken trust. The conditions of what my love gave me were without trust. Do you see how unconditional love is? It needs the very thing you won’t give to break you free of what you don’t give to yourself. Telling my truth should their be conditions of who I can tell or what I can do with what I trust? The answer was always no! I had to trust that telling my truth was going to show that I am very truthful. I will call out to the truth and trust that the truth finds me more truth.
When I was abandoned and I abandoned others, was it related to trust. Yes, I didn’t trust myself and in turn didn’t know in truth if I could trust others. I didn’t know if I spoke from my pain if I would be accepted I trusted I wouldn’t! If I could be damaged could I trust that I would be loved unconditionally? Can you? I realize now that was just a lie that I was living inside myself that gave me the ability to walk away so easily from others. Not wondering if they hurt by my actions, not wondering if I was indeed loving enough to let them go.
I let go, because I couldn’t face my own pain, but I could surely see my pain in others, whether I caused it or not. I wanted to fix their pain and bring them into a world of imagination where no pain could harm them. Not seeing that I trusted that I could do this, I was able to for a short while. Then I knew that my own pain would infect them somehow, they couldn’t see the truth about my not trusting that they could feel anything remotely like what I felt inside. Maybe it was that I was too genuine in my imagination, or that I was not standing in my truth enough for it to be genuine. When I felt what I felt deeply, I realized that without me trusting that the right thing would come to me something else would come to me, and show me that this was just my imagination of the lie that made it possible to not tell the truth, I trusted this as my truth, that the lie was always right. Trust is intent… get it?
As humans we experience so much of what we hear inside that we isolate ourselves and miss the truth about trust. Trust that you will be hurt and you will, trust that you will not be loved and you won’t.
Trust that you are not worthy of a deep love and yes you will get what you say in trust. Trust that no one can hear you screaming inside and on one will. Trust is the intent of what you want to have whether truth or a lie to find you and it does.
If you say you can feel another’s heart beat in your own as your truth and trust that what you feel in that heart beat inside you will find you then trust that it will completely! No hesitation for that hesitation gives you the same in the trust you placed into it!
If you say you want to be in a truthful deep love relationship, trust completely that it will find you!
If you say you want to love yourself without conditions then trust that you will. Without the words that I started with, it is always going to be a very confusing energy till you decide that you want the complete trust of what it is that you say you want! Then make that the reason in being for that trust to give you what you know is in truth yours to give to yourself.
If you are having a hard time and want peace then trust you will find complete peace. Any voice in you that says, “Yes but”.. Is a hole in that trust that says I am not enough yet.. where the lie is embedded is the truth waiting for it to see itself. Say in self to the lie, “you will no longer tell lies for the heart that beats does so in a trusting manor, and that trust is something that I believe in.” Give yourself the wholeness in asking for trust to give you the truth about how you trust and it will give this to you when it is without question.
Love deeply…. Trust and let it find you!
Clark
