Having had a near death experience and experienced the other side I can say that is the place I feel homesick for.
But that void, that homesickness is something I am always sure I am not the only person who feels that. Everyone hurts when they are intentionally or unintentionally misunderstood. Maybe because to be understood is as much about compassion and consideration as it is intellectually understanding.
So failure to understand to me shows a lack of consideration and compassion. We may not be able to relate but surely we can understand. And more importantly we can be understanding of others. Maybe something else that needs to take place first is to understand oneself.
I moved around a lot as a kid. I've lived in California, Hawaii, Georgia, Wisconsin, Deleware, Illinois, North Dakota and Utah. And some of those places I've lived in more than once. I never went to any one school for more than two years and starting in the 7th grade I went to a different school every year until my high school graduation.
In having been one of four white kids in an all black school to very diverse communities and schools I learned how to be respectful even of those disrespectful to me and I learned to be understanding to the point of being able to feel as though I could relate to others experiences which I had no personal experience with.
It's like with music. If you listen closely enough it feels as though you can relate to many thing outside of your own experiences because the subject matter has been made to be personal or that it was delivered in such a potently personal way.
And I learned how to be that relate able as well.
Those abilities I learned have literally saved my life in situations that escalated to violence. Life threatening violence. And have endeared me to many along the way. I've lived in rough neighborhoods all across the country and these abilities have kept me safe.
I lived in Waianae on Oahu, Hawai'i. One of the roughest areas I've ever lived in. But I visited daily while I was in the Army and often in uniform while there or on the bus on the way there. And I had close calls to violence but always exercised respect and understanding and de-escalated some hairy situations.
I served with a guy who did not have these skills as well as having too much ego, bravado and arrogance. He went to a road house in Waianae once. He wound up in a fight and hospitalized for a week because of those traits.
Our superiors ordered us to never go to Waianae unless we had a function in the Army rec center there.
I was told many times not to go because of how many soldiers had been accosted in one way or another. But I never had the issues other soldiers did.
For me learning these skills were a matter of survival. But everyone is capable of learning them I feel.
But it wasn't until after my near death experience in Hawai'i that my first taste of having a full heart and feeling that I was truly understood that I had a sense of lasting peace. And once I understood myself fully, I felt that since of peace more and more.
And if we truly understand ourselves then we can feel at peace even in the most chaotic situations.
I believe we all long for that sense of peace and there are many faiths, many philosophies that try to guide us to that place of being fully understood and appreciated and loved.
I believe we long for a place we can provide for each other and for ourselves. I believe we can accomplish this in this life and not simply something reserved for the next life. An on Earth as it is in Heaven sort of idea.
