After our return home from Reno, there was a period of silence. For me, it felt a little like we were passing through the eye of a hurricane. The numerous conversations, the visit, and making our final decision were in the past. Ahead of us loomed a LOT of additional work and change. For the moment, though, things were mellow. I felt equilibrium returning.
While we were relaxing (probably floating in the pool) Washoe County kicked off the ICPC process. First, Washoe County prepared and submitted their ICPC paperwork to the State of Nevada. The State of Nevada then sent the paperwork to the State of California, who, in turn, sent it to Riverside County’s Department of Public Social Services. Then Riverside County assigned an ICPC social worker to the case, who promptly sent us a GINORMOUS packet of paperwork. This process only took about two weeks, which seems shockingly fast for something so complicated.
The packet from Riverside County included a very nice cover letter, some information about the various resources available to us, a list of requirements our home had to meet, and an exceptionally long questionnaire. The questionnaire covered a multitude of different areas, including our residential histories, work histories, relationship histories and medical histories. There was also a long section devoted entirely to essay questions, like “How were you disciplined as a child?” and “How do you solve problems?”
The questionnaire also asked us to provide several personal references. It wasn’t clear at the time, but Riverside County wanted this information so they could send THEM some documentation to complete and return.
We were also asked to provide a scale drawing of the entire home, as well as the outside areas. Go figure.
Pretty much every aspect of our lives, including the most private/personal aspects, was scrutinized for the sole purpose of evaluating our suitability as potential parents. While I definitely understand (and support) the need for this level of scrutiny– I don’t want to gloss over the depth of the information requested. For anybody considering becoming a foster/adoptive parent… BE READY. They want to see/know everything. Warts and all. Like it or not.
Thomas kicked into high “project manager mode,” and we had the entire packet completed and in the mail within the next several days.
Next, it was time to ensure our home was child-friendly enough to pass muster during Riverside County’s home inspection.
The first concern was the pool in our backyard. The County recommends you install a safety fence around the perimeter to block access. For renters, this is a pretty expensive solution. Thomas did a ton of diligence to see if we could find a viable solution that wouldn’t break the bank. It turns out there’s no such thing as an inexpensive perimeter fence. Laying out the money seemed premature, since we weren’t even sure the kids would be placed with us. Thomas made several calls to our Washoe County and Riverside County social workers to see if there was another acceptable solution. It turns out that door alarms meet Riverside County’s requirements, and in short order—we installed six of them. At the request of our Riverside County social worker, we later added a door knob guard to the one conventional door leading to the backyard.
Next, we needed to ensure that everything on the “dangerous stuff” list was inaccessible to the little ones. A sweep of the house revealed that wine, cleaning products, more wine, tools, kitchen utensils, medication, some more wine, and anything of an adult nature, needed to find a new home. Most of the stuff was moved to upper cabinets. The tools were re-homed to a locked utility room. Medication was protected behind a magnetic child-lock in the master bathroom. Things of an adult nature were very carefully placed in out-of-reach places.
Here’s where I need to give Thomas a whole bunch of props. They’re due. I was knee-deep in Summer quarter at CSUSB during this process, and Thomas did nearly all of the heavy lifting by himself. I helped when I could get away from my homework, but it wasn’t nearly enough. Thomas is an amazing partner, and will make a fantastic Dad.
The home inspection took place on August 20th, roughly five weeks after our Reno trip. Time flies!
We were convinced the home inspection would be some kind of white-glove walk-through of the house, where every drawer, door, and cabinet would be thoroughly examined. Far from it! Thomas and I gave the social worker a tour, where she shot several pictures of the place. The door alarms were photographed. Humphrey was photographed. Thomas and I were photographed. Then, we proceeded to the interview portion of the program.
During the interview, Thomas and I got to revisit every detail of the questionnaire we’d previously completed. I can’t speak for Thomas (especially since his past is far less “colorful” than mine), but this round of questioning was even more uncomfortable. Revealing things you’re not proud of, or things that make you uneasy, to a piece of paper is one thing. Reiterating these things to a living, breathing person is quite another. Thankfully I survived, as did Thomas.
After three hours under the microscope, the interview ended. But there was more to come!
–Jim L-L
