Debate Magazine

Home Alone but Not So

Posted on the 22 April 2020 by Isiswin @Isis_Win

By Isis Win

My previous message speaks about being alone and no place to go. That’s true, but it is not. I have several rooms where to go. Some dark ones some white ones and I visit them as I wish or need. Those rooms are the places within that I can visit and enlighten myself. All are dealing with my inner parts that either I exercise sometimes or I neglect for some no so logical reason, except avoiding.

The ones I exercise are the places that take me to some level of consciousness or to improve it. The other ones are the ones that required attention, but the circumstances did not allow me to delve into it. It is hard for me during those moments or those times to attend them if they are very important elements required to improve something in within. Such as issues in my relationships. Sometimes I discover they are no relevant, but some others I find that they need time to acquire some results. I have found a couple of those during this reclusion. My time in those rooms rendered a precious encounter. Something that will help me with my relating to others in my near future. Starting with relating to myself.

Between the two rooms I mention, I see several things that require my full attention to deal with the times I suspect will result from this crisis, at the end. I mean, changes that will be reflected entirely in my lifestyle, therefore who I relate to if . . .

I have known by previous visits to those rooms that I need to change my lifestyle drastically. Or to make a drastic adjustment about it. That adjustment literally reflects a sort of dropping out of the societal protocols I have followed for a long time. An extreme way of sharing about it is: such as – going a little the hippie way. For instance, my eating habits have to drop out, consuming all food purchased at the stores. I am not just talking about avoiding processed food, which I reckon, it pretty bad for my health. But even produce that is coming from the large producers. It is literally impossible to know how much of that food contains GMO or harsh chemicals. I do not doubt that GMO food is worse than smoking and drinking heavily daily except that those vices at least give some pleasure – lol. GMO food maybe provides me a little joy because I enjoy vegetables and fruits a lot. For instance, I love corn and potato. For years I have eaten them daily, sometimes twice in a day. American corn is GMO loaded, and there is doubt about potato, but I see no justification to believe it is not. However, even the labeled organic food is a grand risk I do not want to get into anymore. Between GMO veggies, food loaded with hormones, antibiotics, and other claimed no dangerous chemicals, I see enough reason to assess that the only healthy way to consume them is by producing them myself. Or to make sure that whoever does it, follows the ancient tradition of growing them without pesticides and any additives to ensure their profitability. Just the way they came from the ground as they did centuries ago. I know it is possible because I have done it for years, but living in the D.C. area only permits doing it during the warm seasons.

There are too many other things that sincerely, I do not know how I could live without as I have today. Like living in a place where I do not need a car. Where a bicycle is supposed to suffice. No TV, cell, internet lines, where whether aerial or ground exist where magnetic fields exist. Well, a place where no magnetic fields can move a needle or any measuring instrument. A place where the news are not so relevant. A place with a sense of community, mostly self-suffices.

As you can see, I am talking about a place where to be with my own self and not feeling I am quarantine for any reason. A hippie place as it was known in the 1970s, but no, I am not visualizing a place where people wear the same clothes for several days, get high in groups, and consider the sun and clouds divine. Well, they are, but I do not practice communion with them.

A place where to enjoy people that are on the same wavelength and simply I appreciate them badly. Talking about that, that place must have a clear blue sky and perfect white clouds. No more acid rain around me. Perhaps that place can be lightened by candles or similar. Activities are going to be a little later than sunset, and getting up with the sun rising to start the day sounds acceptable. No noise of any kind but the wind, the animals, etc. Get it?

Do not take me wrong, I lived in Mexico City for almost 25 years, quite a while in Manhattan, a couple of years in LA and as well beautiful San Francisco and through more than 30 years in the D.C. area after living six glorious years in Guatemala City.  But having the joy and pleasure of those experiences have taught me that life that way is a remote way of true living. Yeah, they are fun and enticing, lots of money can be made in those, but they are a true detraction of what life is supposed to be if wanting to be healthy. In the body, the mind and the soul. I know I know, that was a grand detour to learn from that – so it is time to go on with the real thing.

Well, I have known that for a >long time<, but somehow something distracts me from getting there. I dare to say that a

reason is pleasure. Yes, the big, modern, and complicated cities where I have lived present opportunities to encounter pleasure. No one can deny that the pleasure of those congested, toxic, and not truly realistic places can be immense pleasure. Actually, places like those have many types of available pleasure. Otherwise, why millions of people choose to live in those? I found tons of pleasure in those cities!

I wonder how much of those pleasures will remain past this crisis. I tend to assume that either they become multiplied several folds, so they stay there, or those pleasures simply vanish. As is at this moment, social distancing is presenting a mighty good question. A question derived from all those cities that, after the suggestion or ordinance to reclusion, refused to comply with it. How are they going to end up? We people tend to ignore tons of important things and have a very short memory. This virus is different because it is so unpredictable but kills a lot of its victims, but it is the same with yearly flu. This past one killed more than 30 million people, is that true? Are we idiots or what? How did we allow that? Why didn’t we stop it in its tracks before so many people died? After this pandemic, we may be going to start to think about “silly” things like that one. Or maybe not, and we forget about Covid 19 in a short time, and we go on. That is enough reason for me to delve into the realization that this type of lifestyle is not me.

The number of thoughts about this – at this time – are so numerous! Health at all levels, dependency about so many things is another one. Money and the desire and need to create a profitable career or way of making a living is another one. How poor is the potential to find true love among all those I believe alienated people in the big cities? Yeah, as much alienated as I have been all this time. Between politeness, political correctness, and the great idea of not burning any bridges, we go around meeting people at a party, a bar, concert even a museum, and we believe there is potential there. Potential about what and how? Frankly, someone finding me to be a potential would be dead wrong because I know about something healthy, and I have no idea how to honor it. Such as getting the hell out of here! Maybe that potential candidate I run into in the big city realizes the same thing, and we move on together? Yeah right!

Maybe I have not explored enough rooms in within, so I find better paths for my future in this changing world and life, right? I do not really know if my intuition is speaking correctly this time, but it is telling really loud the upcoming world will not be as you remember! It is time for a change!

Well, here it is, I am home alone, but I still have plenty of places to go to! I will try to keep you posted if I find a better room or answer.

Stay safe, and be well!

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