Society Magazine

Hidden Struggles

Posted on the 29 December 2012 by Lucy_wood @IamLucyWood

My Disability doesn’t really effect my life. Well, it does but I have never known any different so to me the way I carry out tasks is the way I’ve always done it. It’s a not like I’ve had to figure it out the hard way.

To many people, my disability only effects my legs as far as they can see. The only difference they see is that I can’t walk.  I’ve worked hard to cover up the other problems that come with Cerebral Palsy.

The truth is it’s not just my legs that are effected by Cerebal Palsy. I have had slight brain damage that makes things you fine easy, hard for me.  To me it’s fine that others don’t realise, if I’m honest I forget to.

I’ve never asked for anything more than the bare minimum in alterations to plans when there needed – I am British, I don’t like to cause a scene. 

I can remember having to take an exam in College, and the invidulator telling me I had been given 10 minutes extra to finish the paper. I was mortified. I didn’t want extra time I was fine. I’m not stupid.

Cerebral Palsy effects everyone who has it differently for me, it’s things like maths, general memory and spacial awareness that are my nemesis.

The best app on my phone is a calculator, that is of course, if I can work out what method it is I need to work out what if is your asking me. My poor Maths teacher had to go through things over and over again, of course it made no difference. I’d leave Maths and a week later the Teacher would be back at square one. They bribed me with Chocolate this method alone meant that I gained G in Mathematics at School.  I was happy with that. It wasn’t a fail.

And then there’s my awful memory. It’s not big dates or anniversaries that I forget. I forget simple things like getting a towel when I brush my teeth, I always end up walking round looking like a dog with rabies searching for one. Or trying to open the gate when I get home from work before I’ve even unlocked the gate. Dad says he can tell it’s me before he’s looked out the window. My life is made of reminders and lists

Ask me to tell you what’s happening in Corrie or how that new song from the Killers goes and I will tell you without fault or hesitation.

I’m terrible with directions and maps. I was a logistical manager for a massive Broadcast Service. It was always a miracle presenters ended up I the right place on the right day.

The biggest thing is my spacial awareness. My brain so easily reverts to an able bodied persons it’s dangerous. I attempt jobs that if my brain was wired right, I would even attempt. If I was a cat, I would study be dead by now.

One thing I have got though is my creativity and imagination I might not be normal, or good with numbers but I can tell you a bloody good story. And to me that is far more interesting.

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