By now, you know about how Cory Booker, the mayor of Newark, ran into the burning house of a neighbor and rescued her. He burned his hand and suffered symptoms of smoke inhalation, the seriousness of which he downplayed in a well-circulated tweet composed while en route to the hospital. Nathaniel Stein imagines subsequent installments to the mayor's twitter feed. It's hilarious, and you should read the whole thing, but, to whet your appetite, here's a sample:
Thanks to @NewarkSafetyCommission for compiling excellent fire safety tips. But pls add my cell # to bottom in case residents do have a fire
Want 2 clear up 2 things: YES, ended crime by rounding up all criminals last nite. NO there's no school board meeting on Memorial Day
Just went back in time and saved Abraham Lincoln. History books shld be updated by morning. Feeling a bit woozy from space-time continuum shift but I'll b ok
According to some clever fellow somewhere, Chris Christie, attempting to keep pace with Democrat Booker, rescued a pizza from a burning oven.
