Credit
I was fifteen at school and in a relationship with the ‘my love of my life’. He was older than me and little did I know he controlled me. He didn’t like me going to the shop, seeing friends or if I did he had to be there (found out he was cheating on me with a very close friend and every other girl with a pulse).
I started to be sick every morning and my mom made me take a test so I did and as you can guess it was positive, yeah my reaction wasn’t like I had dreamt of since being little, with a nice house a lovely man and a good job, I was at school living with my mom and with a controlling cheating boyfriend. His reaction was he didn’t believe me and when I proved it he ordered me to have an abortion, so my mom came with me to the GP.
It was the most awful feeling I had ever felt, embarrassment, I was 15 and asking for an abortion. I was a baby myself and I wasn’t ready to be a mum, the GP asked me if I was sure that’s what I wanted and it was so she gave me the details to the BPAS clinic, my mom phoned and made an appointment for me. It was in the city next to me, I had a consultation with a lovely lady and went for a check up (feeling of my stomach) and I refused a woman to examine me.
I was vulnerable and humiliated so I made the appointment and went home unknown how far gone I was. I didn’t want to know. I then had my appointment the following week and went to the clinic and it was a beautiful stately home, didn’t look like a place I had imagined. I went in, signed in and waited. There were couples there holding teddies all with there partners much older, then there was me with my mom. it was awful. I then got called in to a room, took my bloods and took a tablet to help loosen me I think and I needed to wait a few hours.
I got called in to another room to have a dating scan I guess and there they told me I was 10 weeks. I didn’t want to see the screen so turned my head and held back my tears (not sadness than I was doing this as much sadness that I was so irresponsible and put myself in that situation). I then got called to go upstairs alone, with my mom waiting downstairs. I was scared, I went up and there was a lovely Australian lady who was there as a nurse, she took me into a changing room to put my nighty on and then got onto the bed and wheeled in to the room.
I had the anaesthetic put in my hand, I remember the lady said it will taste like onions (it went into my hand) and it did taste like onions, it was weird then went to sleep. I came around on a ward and got given some pain killers and was sick. I remember there was a lot of blood, I got lead to a dining room and had a bowl of cereal and then could go home.
There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about what I did but it was the best decision at that time in my life.
My so called boyfriend didn’t get in touch ever again. I’ve now got an amazing boyfriend that I have been with for 5 years and a lovely house and a beautiful little one year old. People may not agree with this but this was my decision and I believe people are entitled to make a mistake.
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