Happiness is a Decision

Posted on the 03 November 2016 by Luciano Pacini
Now my dear reader I just want to chat with you. This it will be one of my new great article made in an informal way. I feel like that and I know you will understand me, also because at the end what matters is that I want to tell you something  of very special. Substance over form! So let's start.Happiness is a Decision
You know when there are those conflicts with people that make you feel bad, for example with relatives, but also it could possibly be with anyone; when you have those thoughts like: “my mom didn’t give me enough affection”, or “my father wasn’t enough present in my life”, or “that person betrayed my trust”. Yes some thoughts just like that. I think it has happened to you my dear reader to feel something like that or something similar. I am sure. And I am sure that you have suffered for that.So the very important thing that I want to tell you my dear reader, is that sometimes you should try to accept the present how it is. You don’t have to spend many hours asking yourself: “why my Mom did that to me, why my Dad did that to me, why the other person did that to me. Why they don’t understand that with this behave they make me suffer, why why why why".So exactly in this case, my dear reader, you should stop asking yourself why they did or why they do. Simply you must accept the reality. Your past it was like that, your present it is now, your future you can build how you want, I didn't say just future, I said your future, because it is not the future of others. In fact you should stop thinking that things change and people change mandatorily.You say:"I would like that person change their behave with me". I say: "Stop with this obsession, and I insure you that relation it would star to be better, doesn’t matter with whom it is, mother, father, partner, friend, because it will just begin being better".Attention! This is doesn’t mean that you have to like your situation, maybe it is effectively how you feel, maybe it is really true that somebody behave bad with you, maybe it is true that somebody didn't love you in a proper way; but even if you are right you don't have to fossilize yourself and want a different past. Really, I know that everybody has thought of that, but I can tell you that wanting a different past it is totally crazy, for the simple reason that your past is your past. It just stay there, you can't remove so it is better don't think too much and just accept it.Yes, acceptance, this is a great thing if you are able my dear reader. Accept that your mother didn’t give you too much affection, accept that your father was like that, accept that a person betraied your love, and your mood will be better.Of course is not so easy and you can't just wake up one morning and say:"Ok I accept everything"! Because it would be also wrong. But it is necessary being aware of the fact that at the end you don't suffer just because somebody was bad with you; actually everything depends how you live this fact, how you metabolize that.Of course as I said it is your right and you can tell them if you don't like something, or if some of their behaviors can hurt you, but after a certain point you should stop insisting; it doesn't mean giving up, it means that you are an intelligent person. Why? Because if you said already many times but they persevere, obviously it means that they can do and they can be only like this and so it is useless being upset about that. It is better to move on. You know what is the biggest problem for you? It is that you don't accept the fact that people whom you love they can't change as you would. This is the fact!So you shouldn't be too much perfectionist with others and with yourself, you can be good simply how you are. You don't have to compare yourself with others, and you dont have to be like them. For what? You don't have to pretend being someonelse just because if you don't follow customs and traditions of your country, people would judge you. It is not your problem, really. Anyway is not a problem having a problem. This you must understand and feel. Of course is not something that you can do just now or tomorrow, you will need time, but it is necessary for you to start to move on the right direction. Why being fake? Then also people around you even if they like you but they don't like the real you, but just your immage, even if I know that nowadays in any type of social reation the immage is important, but try to make correspond it with your inner part also. Obviously is not good if you have problems and you feel bad, but first of all accept them, and then little by little you will be able resolve them. Be aware of the reality and about the fact that others not easily can change, but you can change yourself. And so now I arrive at the meaning of the title of this interesting article:"Happiness is a Decision". Yes it is, I have never thought about that but going on I am always more and more sure about that. It is also simply this concept. It is like that because you can't control really other people, but on the contrary you can control yourself, or at least in many cases youcan do it. You can choose to see the reality or to see what you want to see. What is best for you? I am sure that you already know the right answer! Anyway for all of those reasons you have a possibility and you can choose to be happy. 

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