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Yes I am a mother in the 21st century, and yes I have been practicing distracted parenting unknowingly. Is it one of the good styles of parenting? Definitely not! Distracted and parenting will never go hand in hand.
I did not even know I was one of these types until I came across this article. So many studies have been conducted about how our little children are learning from behavioral patterns they see around them. Let me tell you how I have been guilty before we delve into it. The other day I handed a piece of paper and color pencils to my daughter. She loves painting and coloring like any other 2 year old. Like million mothers out there, I am constantly on lookout to steal time away to glance at my smartphone, and this seemed like the best opportunity ever!!
I handed her the paper and colors, nestled myself into the couch, and started surfing through the glorious and enchanting world of the Internet. As I was reading through something highly viral, and we all know how viral posts demand attention, I saw a shooting pencil land on me. It takes more than one pencil to make me notice that my daughter was throwing them at me.
I was about to shout and yell as any normal “angry” person would, but took a deep breath to understand that she needed attention. Though she was doing her favorite activity, she wanted my appreciation and applause. That is exactly when I realized that there have been many moments before this that she has misbehaved just so that I can sit with her through the activity or involve her in what I was doing.
Distracted parenting is somewhat a disease for the newer generation. It is hard to let go off that phone and stay disconnected from the world, which you already are if you are a SAHM. But, I am consciously trying to get away from any mobile devices focusing on her when she needs my attention.
As someone trying to disconnect from this style of parenting, there are some essential rules I am insisting everyone at home to follow. Here they are and hope they help you too!
No phones during playtime
So, anyone who wants to play with my daughter has to surrender their phone. They have to keep it someplace with vibrate setting or else just go out of her sight and handle the phone. Simple, yet effective.
Ban on smartphone viewing during holidays
Though it is difficult to stay away the whole day, I let my husband enjoy his phone while she is sleeping or when I take her for a walk.
Involving kids in activities
Not just with the smartphone, but I generally have a habit to give the tablet to my daughter when I am baking since I love to bake. But, owing to the stunning research the article talks about, I now take my daughter’s help when baking. She loves to wear her apron and help me toss pre-measured ingredients in the bowl.
Reading time is mandatory
I cannot stress enough about how reading time is important! I have stocked a few books for her and will definitely share a post about how to select books for your toddlers.
Leave your phone at home when out with kids
Not every time, but for everyday walks that I take with my daughter, they last for like 15-20 mins, I leave my phone at home. I like to talk with her and show her around instead.
This style of parenting is not something our parents had to encounter. I am not a anti-smartphone person, but when you need to be with your kids, I stand by dumping it aside on vibrate mode. Children will mimic everything you do so why not give them some good things to mimic.
Are you guilty as well? How do you plan to get rid of this parenting style?
