I’ve endured years of uninteresting conversations searching for meaning in all the banality. Recently, I finally experienced an eye-opening epiphany that’s made years of stifled eye rolls, courtesy laughing, and yawn swallowing worthwhile. What I’ve found out is that in a lot of everyday conversations between two English speakers (that are also usually two Caucasian people), people who throw in a word or two in a foreign language innocently enough usually have passive aggressive intentions. My research so far only applies to people living in America with English as their native language.
I’m sure you’re probably wondering what the hell I’m talking about. But Katie! Surely we should encourage bilingualism and welcome those around us to expand our vocabularies by using words in new languages! Right you are, annoyingly positive know-it-all, but I’ve noticed that one foreign word thrown in with a bunch of routine English for seemingly no reason at all is usually an insult in disguise.
Here’s an example:
Bob: Hey Gina, could you send me those reports by the end of the day?
Gina: Oh, you don’t really need those do you! Ha ha ha.
Bob: Heh, I was hoping to submit them before the weekend.
Gina: I’m just kidding, Bob-arino. I’ll send them right after this meeting.
Bob: Gracias.
Now maybe Bob’s got an abuela from Ecatepec, or maybe he’s planning a trip to Acupulco and in his zeal to master the language, he decided to test his Spanish-speaking skills using one of the easiest Spanish terms to pronounce, but it sure seems as though Bob’s south of the border thanks-giving was a thinly-veiled, “I hate you, Gina. Thanks for always being a useless cretin.”
I must confess I remember using “gracias” in this same context when I was working as a cashier at Sears in high school. I’d be working in the men’s department when one of the merchandise associates would dump a whopping pile of men’s clothing found in other parts of the store on my counter with a tactless, “Here ya go!” I’d look at the mangled nest of wrinkled clothes, and identify jeans that needed to be folded and clearance shirts that would require hangers, and I’d mutter, “Gracias.”
Translation: “Thanks for giving me all these nasty clothes to put away. I hope someone shits in the fitting room you’re responsible for tonight.”
“Gracias” is the most common, but it isn’t the only offender. People use “gesundheit,” the German response to sneezing, as a covert demonstration of passive aggression, too. Let’s revisit Bob and Gina in a different context.
Bob: Aaaah aaah AH
Gina: …
Bob: CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHESHESHSCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—oh goodness, excuse me—CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOooOOooOOooOOOO!
Gina: Gesundheit.
Perhaps Gina studied abroad in Hamburg her senior year of college and misses German culture. Maybe she doesn’t like the spiritual implications of giving someone with a sinus issue a blessing from God. More likely than not, Gina used “gesundheit” because the action that came forth from Bob’s nose was actually so shockingly offensive it wasn’t worthy of a response in her mother tongue.
Translation: “Get a damn Kleenex and cut the theatrics; no ‘choo’ naturally trails on for that long, you mountebank!”
There’s another troubling layer to this sordid practice of foreign language hostility: sometimes people will pick up on what’s happening and decide to respond with another word used the language originally used to dismiss them. Let’s revisit Bob’s initial “gracias,” and see what happens when Gina responds… in Spanish.
Bob: Gracias.
Gina: De nada.
Bob has two choices now. He can accept that Gina also knows a few words of elementary Spanish and forfeit this little game, or he can take this bizarre conflict to the next level.
Bob: ¿Hablas español?
Gina: Si, un poco!
Suddenly, a simple conversation about some reports has turned into a challenge to see who can speak more broken spite Spanish. If the conversation escalates to this level, at some point one or both parties will be obligated to mention if they have any Hispanic relatives, how much they like Taco Bell, or if/when they vacationed in Cancun.
“Hola!” really means “I couldn’t be less happy to see you.” “Merci” translates to “Stop speaking to me.” The list goes on and on. The next time you think of spontaneously using a term in another language, just be up front with the person with whom you’re speaking. Tell them that you think he or she is kind of an asshole, and you’d like to distance yourself from them even from a linguistics perspective.
