Three Ways to Sift Online Profiles (Guest post contributed by Christian Crush)
They say that a few choices are easily handled. If you have to choose between two pairs of shoes, it’s a snap; but if you have to pick just one pair out of hundreds, things get tricky. Having so many options creates a sense of fear. What if we choose the wrong pair? What if, while we browse those eye-glazing photos, we miss the perfect pair and don’t actually like any of the others? This is the same kind of thing our brains do when we jump on the online dating bandwagon–a few nice people can make it easy, but hundreds make it difficult.
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One of the easiest ways to make things easier is to come up with ways to weed out the unlikely candidates. You already know that you don’t want to date someone who likes spinach, or who is more than six inches shorter than you. Great. Now what? There are still hundreds of options out there! Try examining those profiles a little more to pick up on some of the details that can tell you a lot about the person. For example, some people post pictures in order to get attention or show themselves in an overly positive light, instead of representing themselves as real people, according to Meyers 2013.
As believers, we must be …“shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” when it comes to online dating. (Mathew 10:16, NIV). Therefore, we must intentionally look for certain qualities in online profiles that will increase our chances of making wise connections that hopefully turn into authentic, God honoring relationships.
1-Spiritual focus- Really spend time looking for the person’s spiritual journey. Did they write in a lot of information regarding their faith background or did they leave that section blank? Did they discuss a favorite verse that’s really personal to them or did they write in something generic? Do they attend a large congregation like Flatirons Church or a small rural place of worship? Obviously, the more on fire someone is for Jesus, the more it will shine through in virtually all of their profile responses.
2-Relationship Focus- Does their profile focus on relationships as being important in their life? Or, do they barely mention relationships and appear detached and void of close relationships in their life? When reading their messages to you, are they interested in getting to know the real you or do they seem distant and vague? The more relational the person appears, the more likely they’ll value your relationship with them as well.
3-Picture/Video Focus- Do their pictures portray values or qualities you desire, such as being adventurous, friendly, athletic, etc? Do they appear warm and comfortable in their video or cool and aloof? Usually, the more warm and open someone seems, the better they are at forming and keeping attachments with others, which will also carry over into their new connection with you.
So, the next time you go online and become overwhelmed with the choices, try these three guidelines to help you sift through the competition and find a good match.
By ChristianCrush team. ChristianCrush is owned by Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D. who is a Christian Psychologist. ChristianCrush aims to be the most authentic, innovative, and trustworthy site on the web for believers to connect. They were invited to post on Love and Grace to share their expertise on the Christian dating world. To get in touch with Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D., please find him on Google Plus.
When God Writes Your Love Story (Expanded Edition): The Ultimate Guide to Guy/Girl Relationships
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
The T.D. Jakes Relationship Bible: Life Lessons on Relationships from the Inspired Word of God
