Some of these you may or may not have heard before, they may even be on someone elses list at number 20-25. well, here are a few things that I have picked up over the years and they have added a kind of spice to our marriage.
1. Chores
Womanfolk over the years have been stuggling with getting us menfolk to do stuff around the house, stuff that is not “manly”. These may be things like doing the laundry, sweeping, mopping, doing the dishes, putting away the dishes etc. chores are the one thing that keep a woman busy in her own house. She will always expect that you will have a need deep down inside to do stuff in the house, coz it needs to be done. You and I know that we aren’t wired this way. We don’t just see stuff that need to be done. I recommend, take time maybe an hour or two in your week and help her do the chores. Even better, when she asks you to do something, stop what you are doing and go do it. Chances are it will take you 5minutes and you will be back to what you are doing peacefully. She will see that you find her important and you care about her needs as well.
Photography by @LeonMuli
2. A good meal
Contrary to when you were dating, your wife may actually love taking time to eat and to eat well. Pick a day of the week when you will come home and prepare a good meal. A well balanced meal. Spoil her silly and throw in some after meal surprise. This not only makes her feel special but makes her feel special (Yes I repeated myself) . Sometimes all she needs is that attention that says, you do a great job and here’s how I appreciate you.
3. Mood music
Sort of a part two to the above, while cooking, throw in some mood music. She may not necessarily notice, but as she throws her tired feet up, the music will help her relax and open up. To know how best to cater to this emotional need to relax, you may want to check on her during the day and see how she is doing. The act of (uncexpectedly) calling her once or twice will set her in a great mood when she gets home. If you have arrived before her, make effort to set the environment conducive for her warm smile when she gets home.
4. Listen actively
We all know that she has stuff to say. We also know that womenfolk have heaps more to talk about men. You know what, all you have to do is to drop what you are doing and get involved in the story. I must admit I am one of those chaps who gets really bored with the sound of my own voice after a while saying the same stuff (uhuh, oh, wow, really?)… it is way easier for me to listen to the story and actively get involved, she not only feels your attention, but she will focus more on the story than your attention (or lack of it thereof)
5. Tell her what you’re going through
One of the hardest things to do, especially earlier on in marriage, is for a woman to know what the husband is going through. This may be a tiff at work, a family issue, a problem with money or whatever may be bothering you. Contrary to common belief, it is harder to understand a man and what he is going through because he doesn’t talk and open up. This may be because we are wired to find solutions to problems tat we are faced with. However unlike us, women are the best listeners. They may not have the solution, but the will listen and make you feel welcome as you are, with or without any problem that you are facing.
Let’s have a surprisingly loving weekend shall we?
