Love & Sex Magazine

Fraught With Complications

By Maggiemcneill @Maggie_McNeill

I recently started dating an escort that I’ve been seeing professionally for a while, but I found out that all of her escort friends are warning her away from me.  Why are they so skeptical about my feelings toward her?

Relationships with escorts are fraught with complications for a number reasons, including but not limited to:OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

  • Clients trying to get free sex by promising “love”, just as men have done to amateur women for millennia;
  • Clients who are turned on by whores qua whores, and not really attracted to the women as individuals;
  • Guys who really think they love a whore, but are not  prepared for the social stigma or the burden of having to keep her secret from employers, family, friends, etc;
  • Men who really are in love with whores, but let jealousy destroy the relationships;
  • Men who fancy themselves pimps and try to manage their girlfriends’ work, even to the point of abusive and controlling behavior;
  • Boyfriends or husbands who demand that the sex worker give up her work and either become economically dependent (“barefoot and pregnant”) or go to work in a shitty non-sex “straight” job that will wear her down;
  • Clients who think they’re in love with a woman, but are actually just infatuated with her business persona;
  • Guys who imagine that sex workers’ sex drives are higher than those of amateur women, or that they’re always more open-minded about preferences and kinks that they’re not being paid to indulge.

Those last two are probably the most insidious, because they may be hard for either party to tell apart from real affection and only reveal themselves once the couple is cohabiting and he discovers that he doesn’t like her relaxed, yoga-pants-wearing, housework-hating, menstruating, bad-hair-day-having, moody, personal-problem-suffering, family-drama-experiencing, opinion-expressing, not-always-in-the-mood, idiosyncratic self.  And this is just a start; if I sat here for a while I could probably think of half a dozen more, and I invite sex workers to include others in the comments.  I’m not saying a relationship with a sex worker is impossible; most of us do indeed have intimate partners, most of whom are male and some fraction of whom were formerly clients.  But there are special difficulties inherent in such relationships that require patience, wisdom and love to overcome or circumvent, and because several of those only apply to partners who started as clients, many sex workers are of the opinion that it’s better to minimize problems by eliminating those potential avenues of difficulty through the strategy of never, ever becoming emotionally involved with clients in the first place.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Book Review The Almanac A Seasonal Guide to 2019

    Book Review Almanac Seasonal Guide 2019

    The Almanac - A Seasonal Guide to 2019 by Lia Leendertz, when I started to read this little book of loveliness I realised it was not a book you read and put dow... Read more

    The 09 December 2018 by   Angela
    FOOD & DRINK, RECIPES
  • Savory Vegan Succotash

    Savory Vegan Succotash

    Sufferin’ Vegan Succotash!  Look what we have here! That’s right! Succotash is a real THING and not just something a funny cartoon character says. Bonus points... Read more

    The 09 December 2018 by   Chuck Underwood
    FOOD & DRINK, HEALTH, HEALTHY LIVING, LIFESTYLE, VEGETARIAN & VEGAN
  • Metabolic Health and Nutrition Conference – Part 3

    Metabolic Health Nutrition Conference Part

    I earlier this year attended a conference in Seattle, WA, (USA) titled " Metabolic Health and Nutrition Across the Life Span." The headlining presenters were Dr... Read more

    The 09 December 2018 by   Dietdoctor
    DIET & WEIGHT, HEALTH, HEALTHY LIVING, MEDICINE
  • "If" Then, and "If" Now

    "If" Then,

    By Elizabeth PrataAmy Carmichael was a missionary to India, arriving in 1895 to Dohnavur, just 30 miles from India's southern tip. Once in South India she... Read more

    The 09 December 2018 by   Elizabethprata
    SOCIETY, SPIRITUALITY
  • Airbus A330-200, Thomas Cook Airlines

    Airbus A330-200, Thomas Cook Airlines

    @ San Francisco International Airport, CA October 2018 Starting in May 2017, Thomas Cook began operating two flights per week between SFO and Manchester, UK... Read more

    The 09 December 2018 by   Htam
    PHOTOGRAPHY, SOCIETY
  • Caroling Party

    Caroling Party

    Last night we hosted our fourth annual caroling party. I'm not a big Christmas gift-giving person, so our gift to everyone is doughnuts, hot chocolate, hot... Read more

    The 09 December 2018 by   Sherwoods
    FAMILY, PARENTING
  • Struggling to Afford Insulin

    Struggling Afford Insulin

    People who need insulin for their type 1 or type 2 diabetes are skimping on the shots because the drug has become so expensive. A study this week in the... Read more

    The 09 December 2018 by   Dietdoctor
    DIET & WEIGHT, HEALTH, HEALTHY LIVING, MEDICINE

Magazines