Family Magazine

Finding My Balance

By Therealsupermum @TheRealSupermum
FINDING MY BALANCE“We can be sure that the greatest hope for maintaining equilibrium in the face of any situation rests within ourselves” (Francis J. Braceland, O Magazine, April 2003).Today my blog is about finding balance – not any easy task. After having my son Jake and going back to work full time, moving house and getting married (among other things), I realised that I couldn’t have everything, and do everything simultaneously.  Even though most of these events were very happy, every day was a battle and under the strain I went bang! Between leaving my child in a nursery full time, other people’s thoughtless opinions and my own perceptions of what I ‘should’ be, I had a break down. The resulting counseling made me realize that I couldn’t be everything that I put pressure on myself to be. I was (and still am but in a more achievable way!) determined to be the best Mum, the best wife, the best housewife, the best daughter, the best friend, the best sister, the best employee that I could be with no mistakes allowed. As I type this, I realize how impossible all of that is – realistically something has to give. I am no superwoman, I am just a person and by being what I thought others needed me to be, somehow I got lost.So what did I do? Firstly I took that huge step of admitting I wasn’t coping. I knew that one of my worst traits is to never give myself a break, both mentally and physically.  I then spoke to someone, who was outside of the situation. I am a huge believer in counselling, having completed some training and I talked, cried, shared my fears and found my courage and confidence again. Somehow I had lost it when I became a Mum and I’m sure many of you can relate to that.  For me, finding my equilibrium wasn’t simply about organising myself… that I can do. It was bigger than that. It was about relinquishing control that I thought I had over things that were uncontrollable.  It was removing the pressure I put on myself to be what other’s thought I should be. It was about trusting my instincts and having the nerve to take them forward.  It was about readjusting my perception of what I thought was important and finally asking for support. It was and still is about taking the power back.So how do I keep it?  The balance in my life needs to be constantly evaluated. In the words of Frank Herbet (American Science Fiction Author and Writer 1920-1986) “There is no secret to balance. You just have to feel the waves”.  This completely embodies what it is like for me.  Some days it’s perfect, some days it’s not but I am able to understand and be ‘ok’ with that.  I now know how to regain it and what is pivotal to maintaining it. What is that I hear you ask. It is me just as I am, warts and all.I would love to hear your views and your experiences on how you find your balance.  Sending you all some peace, love and harmony.Charlotte

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