Saturday I had to go to the supermarket. I didn't consider that it might be busy with last minute easter shoppers. Big mistake. FFS.
I only needed one thing so didn't bother writing it down. When I got to the supermarket I couldn't remember what I needed. FFS.
I wandered around the aisles trying to remember what I needed but I couldn't remember. FFS.
It still cost me $30. FFS.
When I got home I remembered that it was milk I needed so went to the shop across the road and got it. FFS.
Could have saved myself $30 if I'd done that in the first place. FFS.
Whilst we were at the shopping center I let Chai have a play in the playground there. He was very tired so running all over the place. I was walking around the outside, pushing the trolley trying to keep him in view. I heard him crying so was pushing the trolley around to find him when a stupid woman let him out of the playground! FFS.
She didn't know who's child he was or where I was, so why she let a crying child out of the playground was beyond me. Stupid woman. FFS.
I saw him leave the playground and run in the opposite direction to me so I had to ditch the shopping trolley and run to get him, all the while swearing at the stupid woman under my breath. FFS.
I was so tempted to have a go at her, if Chai hadn't been so upset and needing to go home I would have let her have it, instead I just consoled myself by calling her a stupid bitch as I walked past. FFS.
This is one that I forgot from last week. My husband is one of those stupid people who doesn't know when to shut his mouth. He gets himself in trouble and then just keeps on digging and digging. FFS.
Last week we were sitting in bed first thing in the morning and had the following conversation:
Tiger: We should get some breath spray for in the mornings.Me: Good idea, I'll get some from Priceline today.
Tiger: Your breath is really bad in the mornings.
Me: Okay babe, I'll get the breath spray today.
Tiger: It's just with this baby, you aren't usually so bad but since you've been pregnant it's been terrible.
Me: Okay, I heard you, I'll get the breath spray today.
Tiger: It's so bad, this morning you were breathing on me and it woke me up.
Me: Okay, I get the message, stop carrying on about it.
Tiger: There's no need to get like that, your breath has been really bad with this pregnancy.
Me: I heard you so just shut up.
Tiger: But it is, it's really bad.
Me: Stop talking now!
Tiger: But I'm just being honest, would you rather I wasn't honest?
Me: Yes. Considering I said nothing to you about my breath I would rather you just kept your mouth shut.
Tiger (In a huff now, which is pretty rich considering he was the one carrying on at me): Fine, well next time I won't say anything.
Me: Good.
Monday was one of those days. It started with Chai vomiting all over the carpet at 6.30am. FFS.
I sat him on the bed with a towel on his lap whilst I cleaned up. He removed the towel and vomited all over himself and the bed. FFS.
I stripped him to his nappy, cleaned him up and turned the tv on for him to watch whilst I cleaned up. Just as I was nearly finished he comes running into the room, naked and saying "oohhhhhh", which is what he says when he's made a mess. FFS.
He takes my hand and leads me into the lounge room to show me that he's done a poo on the carpet. FFS.
Our rug is dark brown with a small cream stripe around the edge. Naturally he poo'd on the cream part. FFS.
And walked in it. FFS.
By 7am I had cleaned up Chai twice, cleaned all the poo and spew out of the carpet and washed our bedding. I knew it was going to be one of those days. FFS.
Days like that the only solution is to put on lots of make-up and get out of the house, so that's what we did. We went to the park and Chai had a great time. Not FFS.
When we got home I was making Chai's lunch whilst he played. He had an old spice shaker that he's been playing with for weeks. He finally managed to get the top off it and spill spices all over the carpet. FFS.
I cleaned it up, gave him lunch and put him to bed. It took me half an hour to get him to sleep. FFS.
I was really tired so had some lunch, went to the toilet and lay down for a nap. Five minutes later Chai woke up. FFS.
He'd only been asleep for an hour so I thought I'd be able to settle him quickly and then have a nap. Wrong. He refused to go back to sleep. FFS.
By this stage I was getting rather cranky and it was only 2pm. FFS.
The days are very long when you are solo parenting. FFS.
That afternoon Chai asked for some grapes. I gave them to him and he proceeded to bite them once then throw them all around the room. FFS.
We managed to make it through the rest of the day unscathed until it came to dinner time. Chai is learning to feed himself which is a very messy process. His favorite food at the moment is rice. FFS.
I'm sure more rice ended up on his chair and the floor than it did in his belly. It took me five minutes to vacuum it all up. If you haven't tried it, vacuuming up rice is very messy as it sticks to everything. FFS.
That night I asked Chai were he wanted to sleep and he said that he wanted to sleep in my bed. When Tiger is away Chai usually sleeps in my room, we both sleep better, him because he likes sleeping in our bed and me because I know that he's safe next to me. After half an hour of him mucking around and not going to sleep I put him in his cot and he was asleep within three minutes. FFS.
Tuesday was shaping up to be another rough day. Chai woke up at 5.26am and was really whingey. FFS.
I rang up Mum to ask when she could come up so that I could pack the house. She suggested that I visit her for the day. FFS.
I patiently explained to her that I can't go visiting anyone as I have a whole house to pack up, by myself, in the next week. FFS.
A while ago I mentioned being a Bunnings widow in one of my posts. A few days later I got an email from the Bunnings marketing department asking me to put a link to Bunnings in my post as it would be helpful to my reads to be able to see the "great range of products offered by Bunnings". If they'd actually read my post they would have realised that it had nothing to do with me saying Bunnings was wonderful! FFS.
Yesterday was one of those days where anything that could go wrong did go wrong. FFS.
All Wednesday night I could hear a rouge clock ticking really loudly. Since we don't have any analog clocks in the house I wondered where it had come from, but didn't bother getting up to investigate. Thursday morning I discovered that it was in fact our Fetch TV box. FFS.
I switched it off and switched it back on again so that Chai could watch his shows and I could have a few minutes of quiet to do the dishes and prepare breakfast. An hour later Fetch TV still wasn't working. FFS.
Turns out that the box is broken and we won't get another one until the end of next week at the earliest. FFS.
No worries, I have Chai's shows on DVD, so I wasn't too worried. Not FFS.
Later that day I need to photocopy, scan and fax something. It was then I discovered that our printer is broken. FFS.
Naturally there had to be a third thing go wrong. FFS.
I got a letter from the bank wanting all sorts of financial information prior to settlement. FFS.
I had just finished packing up all our paperwork. FFS.
So I had to unpack all the paperwork and I couldn't find the documents I needed. FFS.
Couldn't get hold of our accountant either. FFS.
Mild panic ensued. FFS.
I finally found the documents, they had fallen down the back of the filing cabinet. FFS.
And I got hold of the accountant too. Not FFS.
Now, instead of spending this morning packing I'll be spending it at the bank trying to sort things out. FFS.
This move is going to be the end of me! FFS.
If you have survived reading my epic whinge and are in the mood for some more whinges, head over to Sarah's blog and see what everyone else has to complain about this week.
