After saying that Chai was coping well with Tiger being away, this week was a shocker. FFS.
Chai realised on Friday that Daddy wasn't coming home and it was all downhill from there. FFS.
I felt so upset for the poor little munchkin. FFS.
Friday evening Chai was having a bath. He did his usual trick of weeing in the bath. He then spewed, so I changed the water. FFS.
Then he poo'd and stood in it, so I changed the water again. FFS.
I was sure he'd come up with something else so I quickly washed him and got him out before he could do another trick. FFS.
Friday night I put him to bed. Half an hour later he woke up and was still awake three hours later. FFS.
Every time I put him down he got hysterical. FFS.
In desperation I phoned Tiger at 11pm and got him to talk to Chai whilst I washed my face and put my pj's on. He screamed the whole time. FFS.
That night I missed out on tea, not good when you are pregnant. FFS.
Saturday I gave up and went to stay at Mum's house. FFS.
For the past week Chai has been upset about his hair. He touches it and pretends to cry. FFS.
I can see he got his drama queen side from Tiger. That's going to be fun when he gets older. FFS.
Tiger tells me that cutting Chai's hair will make it grow back thicker. Idiot. FFS.
He can't explain why this didn't work for him (he shaves his head). FFS.
I'm sure he only cut Chai's hair so short because he was jealous that Chai has more hair than he does. FFS.
I've debated whether or not to admit to this one, but you all know I'm an idiot so I decided I may as well (plus my twitter peeps wanted to know the story). FFS.
Friday night I thought there was an intruder in the house. FFS.
Turns out it was my finger. Yes, I kid you not. FFS.
Here's what happened. I was in Chai's room trying to get him back to sleep, standing by the side of the cot patting his bum. I rubbed my eye. As I was rubbing my eye I saw a shadow go past the door. FFS.
So there I was, in the middle of the night, standing by Chai's bed trying to decide what to do about the intruder. I had no weapons in his room and my mobile phone was in my bedroom, which was the direction in which the intruder was headed. FFS.
Whilst I was pondering what action to take, I rubbed my eye again and noticed another shadow going in the other direction. FFS.
Any idea what happened yet? No? Keep reading.
This seemed a little strange to me as the intruder had only just gone into my bedroom. FFS.
It was at this point I realised it was my finger causing the shadow.I'm quick like that. FFS.
I am putting the blame for this one solely on Baby Brain. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. FFS.
In my previous life I used to be intelligent. Who would believe that now? FFS.
Friday morning I delightedly announced to hubby that I was 14 weeks pregnant. Then I checked my pregnancy app and it told me I was 13 weeks. FFS.
I didn't believe it so added it up on the calender and it was right. FFS.
Saturday morning Chai and I were at the park when Mum rang. She has the worst timing. FFS.
I told her I was at the park and she said she'd guessed that cause she'd checked on Friend Locator, seen I was at the beach and guessed I was at the park, so decided she'd call. FFS.
She then went on to explain that she tries to call when it's convenient to me. How she thinks that talking on the phone whilst I'm chasing after Chai at the park would be convenient is beyond my comprehension. FFS.
Monday was a 3 dress day. FFS.
I put on my first dress choice, realised it was dirty to put it in the wash. I put on my second dress choice, Chai immediately came up and wiped his dirty hands on my dress. That dress went in the wash. I put on my third dress choice and then dropped toothpaste all over it. FFS.
So I gave up and put a skirt and top on. FFS.
Wednesday Tiger came home. Chai and I were both excited about it and Chai spent the whole day chanting Dadda, Dadda, Dadda at the top of his voice. FFS.
Tiger wasn't due to arrive until 3.30pm. When I got dressed in the morning I put on my and Tigers favorite dress. As I was getting dressed I contemplated getting dressed just before we left for the airport, however I decided it'd be okay as the dress was dark and even if Chai did get me dirty you wouldn't be able to see it. I also foolishly dressed Chai in Tigers favorite clothes. I should have known better. FFS.
Tigers flight was delayed by an hour. FFS.
Just as we were about to leave for the airport Chai wanted me to pick him up. I picked him up and he promptly did two huge spews all over both of us. FFS.
We were totally covered in spew, it was even pooled in my bra. FFS.
I had to put Chai in the (dry) bath, strip us both off, mop up the spew (naked), shower us, put the clothes in the washing machine then get dressed again as quickly as I could so that we weren't late to pick up Tiger. FFS.
There were roadworks the whole way along Great Eastern Highway and the speed limit was 40. FFS.
Thankfully we managed to get to the airport before Tiger arrived. Not FFS.
Here ends my weekly whinge. Have a beautiful weekend my lovelies.
