So. I've been noticing a lot lately the inconsistency between genders and it's really irritating me. What irritates me more though is how we as a society accept those inconsistencies. Whilst we accept them things won't change!
Here's an example. A woman works full time, does most of the housework, looks after her child/children and is criticised for not putting her family first. She's expected to be at all the school events, Dr's apts etc as well as working full time.
A man works full time, is praised for supporting his family, does very little housework and isn't expected to be at any events because he's at work.Hypocritical much? How is that fair?
And what about the bad rap that stay at home Dads get? I went to Rhyme Time with a stay at home Dad. The other Mums wouldn't talk to him. I kid you not. He was a lovely man and a great parent. He faced the same issues that I did as a stay at home Mum, but he had the added weight of judgment from other people. He constantly got questions about why he didn't work and jokes about being inferior because his wife was the main income earner. He handled those questions gracefully. The truth was that his earning potential was equal to hers but they'd made the decision that they'd both grow their careers. He worked full time whilst his wife was pregnant and up until their child was one, then she returned to work and he took over the parenting duties. That way neither of their careers suffered. Clever.
When you see a man at the park with his kids everyone smiles and comments about what a great Dad he is. You see a woman at the park with her kids, why don't people say she's a great Mum? She's doing the same thing the Dad is.
I was talking to a friend the other day about kids with separation anxiety. He's of the opinion that it's usually the Mum's fault. Really? What about the Dad? Does he play any role? The sooner we realize that men are as much a role model for their children the better. Kids look to their Dads as much as they look to their Mums, maybe even a little bit more.
Also, what about housework? When a woman does housework it's not even commented on. When a man "helps around the house" he's a hero. Helps around the house?! WTF? He's not helping around the house, he lives there too and makes as much mess (if not more) than the woman. He's pulling his weight and looking after the home that he lives in, not helping!
I growled at Tiger on Wednesday night. I was making tea and asked him to do part of it. He replied with "Sure babe, I'll give you a hand". To which I replied "No, you're not giving me a hand. I'm only making tea because you want it, the boys and I don't eat meat!"
Seriously, making tea together isn't helping out, it's making tea!
Because I have two boys I'm becoming more and more conscious of gender roles. I don't want to raise boys who don't do housework and can't look after themselves.
Things can change, but only if we make them.
