Hair & Beauty Magazine

FFS Friday - Pranked

By Glossqueen @Gloss_Queen
Do I have a story to tell today. This is one of those stories that are unbelievable. Whilst it was happening I was constantly looking around to see if I was being pranked. This crap just doesn't happen. Except it did.
As I mentioned last week, we had the in laws here. Mother in law (MIL), Father in law (FIL) and Tiger's brother (BIL) arrived last Tuesday.
When they got here BIL was scratching his arm and mentioned that he was really itchy. MIL worried that it was bed bugs but then realised that neither she or FIL were itching so it wouldn't have been bed bugs. BIL said that he'd been itchy for three weeks and it was because he was allergic to his flatmates cat. 
Thursday morning BIL was sitting outside in the sun talking to MIL. After a while she came inside and got FIL to go outside. A little while later MIL and BIL came inside. BIL headed to the shower and MIL told Tiger that FIL wanted to talk to him outside. Straight away I' waslooking at them and wondering WTF was going on now, because there's always some sort of drama when MIL is around. They talked for a while then they all came inside. Tiger said he needed to talk to me but not in front of the kids so we went into our bedroom.
He then told me that BIL was talking to MIL and scratching when three bugs came out of his arm. FFS. 
BIL was worried about telling me in case I didn't want him to be around the kids.
Let's talk about that for a second. He didn't want me to know he had bugs coming out of his arm in case I didn't let him near my children. He's got mysterious bugs coming out of his arm and instead of being worried about keeping my boys safe, his first thought is that he might not be allowed to spend time with them. How fucking selfish. Don't worry about the welfare of my kids, just worry about yourself mate. FFS.
He thought that if he told me I might over react. Really? How the fuck am I supposed to react when my kids are potentially in danger? Keeping my children safe is not over reacting!

As soon I went into the kitchen MIL started. MIL was carrying on, Tiger was trying to figure out what to do, everyone was panicking, I was the only calm one. Tiger had no idea what to do, MIL thought they should go to the hospital. WTF? It was Thursday morning, the Dr's surgeries are open, why would you go to the hospital?

They managed to catch a few of the bugs and MIL wanted me to go look at BIL to see what the problem was. I told her I'm not a medical professional so wouldn't have any idea what the bugs are. After a few minutes of nagging I went to have a look at them, with MIL hot on my tail. As I was trying to look MIL was leaning over in front of me and talking non stop. Forgetting that she wasn't a child (she was acting like a child) I told her to stop, move away and be quiet. Heh.

I looked at the bugs and they looked like nits, so I told BIL and Tiger that they needed to go to the chemist and if the pharmacist didn't know what they were then they needed to go to the Dr. BIL thought that he'd stay home and let Tiger go. I told him he had to go, get out of the car and talk to the pharmacist. He wasn't impressed. 

Meanwhile MIL decided it was scabies because FIL had it years ago. She said that he had a rash all over his body. I pointed out to her that BIL didn't have a rash so it clearly wasn't scabies. Then she decided he'd caught lice from the dog because the dog had been scratching and had a rash on her belly. Shelby hadn't been scratching and didn't have a rash.

Off they went to the chemist while MIL started cleaning all BIL's bed linen.

They got back from the chemist who'd confirmed that it was body lice. She said they were like head lice and BIL needed to use a wash and a cream then they'd be gone. She said they couldn't live off the body so we didn't need to do anything else. Easy.

Thursday night when I was laying in bed I decided to double check that the pharmacist had been right. 

She wasn't. 
Body lice are different to head lice. They can live on surfaces for two to five days. They also live in clothing and bedding. To get them out of clothing, everything needs to be washed inside out on a hot cycle then dried in the hot dryer. Bedding needs to be washed and dried the same way. Mattresses and anything else that can't be washed needs to be either thrown out, vacuumed or ironed. Great.

We spent all day washing everything that BIL had come in contact with. By we I mean Tiger, MIL and I. BIL sat around complaining about how annoying it was. Not sure why he was annoyed considering he'd caused the problem and was doing sweet fuck all to fix it.

Cleaning everything took us the whole day. We had to clean the lounge suites, vacuum his room, vacuum the carpets in all the rooms he'd been in, wash all his clothes, wash his towel, his bedding etc. We threw out his pillows and cleaned the cushion covers. For some unknown reason he decided to lay on the cushion inserts, so we had to throw them out too. FFS.

When I found out he'd done that I muttered under my breath "That man is a fucking idiot" and Chai heard me. Oops.
Around this point I started to seriously reconsider my decision to marry Tiger. I love him but I'm not sure it's worth the stress that his family causes. 
Added to this, I also had the flu, so my patience and tollerance was really wearing thin.

We had to wash all the quilts that BIL had used, which took ages, MIL took them to the laundromat and finally finally finished on Saturday. BIL took no responsibility for what had happened, he didn't pay for any of the cleaning, replace the pillows or cushions, nothing.

Sunday he said something about what a hassle it'd been and I told him it was annoying and expensive. His reply was "that's Mum for you". FFS. Talk about not taking responsibility for your actions!

Sunday MIL decided to go and buy more cushion inserts. Tiger and I had looked at Kmart but they didn't have any. She was gone for around three hours and came back with the wrong size. She needed one size larger. I told her not to bother but she insisted on going out again. She came back two hours later. Instead of buying the next size up, she'd spent $60 on inserts two sizes bigger, making them too big. 
By this stage I just couldn't be bothered. 
She told me they'd be fluffy. Nope. When you use cushion inserts that are too big they aren't fluffy, they're hard because you've crammed in an insert that is too big. Fucking annoying but I just cbf by this time. We finally finished washing and drying everything on Tuesday afternoon. That's five days of having the washing machine and dryer going constantly. I hate to imagine what our power bill is going to be like. 

What really annoys me about the whole thing is BIL's attitude. He stayed here for a week, ate our food, made a mess, ate at least three blocks of chocolate, ate Tigers protein bars, ate food that we buy just for the kids (all without checking if it was okay), ordered the kids around, was rude to Tiger demanding he did things for him (make me a coffee, get that for me etc), kept on turning our music off or down and was generally unpleasant to be around. 

He didn't care that he could potentially be placing our children at risk, he was only worried about himself and what he wanted. It amazes me that people can be so very selfish and inconsiderate of others. I'll bet that when he goes home he doesn't tell his flatmates about the body lice. They could be all over the house. Poor flatmates. 

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