Hair & Beauty Magazine

FFS Friday - Poonami

By Glossqueen @Gloss_Queen
Hello everyone! Happy Friday! I hope you have all had a wonderful week. Ours has been a shit storm. Again. FFS.

I was going to write about how I (don't) cope, but really, the poo stories are just too much fun.

Wednesday I was looking after my nephew. He came and told me that I needed to check the toilet because it was filled with poo and toilet tissue. FFS.

I went to check it then got side tracked doing something else so didn't get to it for about half an hour. FFS.

When I got there I saw that the toilet bowl was full of water, toilet tissue, baby wipes, a toilet roll and poo. FFS.

I tried to flush it and the toilet nearly overflowed. FFS.
Our plunger is on holiday in some exotic location unknown to me, so I had to put my hand into the toilet and unblock it. FFS.
Fecking disgusting. FFS.
I asked Chai why he used so much toilet tissue and he said he needed to. Right. FFS.
Yesterday he did the same thing, although thankfully he didn't flush the toilet so I was able to remove most of the toilet tissue from the bowl. I still had to poke around in there to clear it though. FFS.
He is now on strict toilet tissue rations. FFS.

I am not joking. 

I had hoped that was the end of our poo adventures, how foolish was I!

Yesterday afternoon Chai was helping clean up the dog poo. Not FFS.

He had the shovel and he was putting all the poo in one section of the garden for me to pick up when I'd finished doing the dishes. Not FFS.

When I went out to pick it all up I was faced with a poonami. FFS.

There was poo all up the wall, all through the garden and all over the pool pump. FFS.

I thanked Chai for his help, cleaned up the mess and thought it was all done. FFS.


A little while later, as I was walking into the backyard I noticed some poo on the floor near the door. FFS.

And on the mat. FFS.

And trailing through the house. FFS.

Upon further investigation I found it all over Eljay's feet. FFS.

And up his legs. (I have no idea!) FFS.

And on Chai's feet. FFS.

I put them both in the shower, cleaned the floor and now I'm hoping that's the end of our poo stories for a while!

Right, I'm done. It's your turn now. Tell me something happy to make me smile. Or something awful so I don't feel so bad about my week. Tell me anything. Or not.

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