FFS Friday - No F*&^%ing Idea

Yesterday I had another meeting with Chai's school.
It was going well until she said one sentence. 
We were talking about how writing is painful for Chai due to muscle weakness and coming up with strategies to put in place when writing is hurting him when the deputy said that he has to be pushed and get used to pain/discomfort as it'll teach him resilience.
No. Just no. He's six. He does not need to be forced to do something that hurts him. No child should be forced to do something that hurts them.
He should be encouraged to strengthen his muscles and do exercises so that writing doesn't hurt, not forced to continue when he's in pain.
That one little sentence got me wondering all over again. WTF am I doing? Why am I even considering sending him back into an environment that thinks it's acceptable for him to be in pain?
The other thing that really concerns me is that he'd be going back into the same classroom with the same teacher. The deputy told me that she's had lots of discussions with his teacher and that his teacher feels like she should have done more. 
Done more? She did sweet f@#$ all! If she'd said that she didn't understand sensory issues I would have been okay with that, but her saying that she did understand but just didn't do enough, that doesn't cut it with me. That means she knew exactly what she was doing when she constantly punished Chai for behaviours he had no control over. 
Chai doesn't want to go back to school until next year. Tiger wants Chai to go back but is doing nothing to make that happen.  I have no idea what to do. The thought of sending him back to school makes me feel sick.