Speaking of pregnancy, I can no longer deny that I'm waddling. FFS.
As I am a lady who definitely does not wadde, I like to call it Pregnancy Swagger.
Chai has a thing for taking his nappy off at the moment. FFS.
He'll take off his pants, take off his nappy, race around to show me that he's got no pants on (saying "oh no" the whole time), then run into his room, get a pair of shorts and put them on. FFS.
Then he stands in front of the mirror admiring himself in his shorts with no nappy on. Clearly he gets his vanity from his father. FFS.
I was hoping this might be him showing he's ready for toilet training (we've been talking about it a lot), however so far every time he's had his shorts on we've ended up with wee all over the floor. FFS.
9.30pm last Thursday night there was a knock on the door. It was the Police looking for the owner of the house. They didn't believe that he doesn't live here, so I showed them our lease agreement. Interesting.
Friday morning I was feeling like crap (coming down with a cold). Tiger was on the phone, when he noticed that Chai was taking his nappy off. FFS.
I went over there and realised that he'd done a poo. FFS.
There was poo everywhere. FFS.
All down his legs, on the carpet etc. FFS.
Tiger had to get off the phone so that we could clean Chai up. FFS.
As Tiger was putting on a clean nappy he broke the tab off it. FFS.
I'd forgotten to buy new nappies so we were down to our last one. FFS.
Chai has discovered a great way to divert attention when something is happening that he doesn't like or doesn't want to do. FFS.
He knows that anytime he asks for a cuddle he gets one straight away, so if he doesn't want to do something he'll say "cud cul Mumma" then give me a big cuddle and hope that I forget I was going to change his nappy, put him to bed etc. FFS.
When that doesn't work he'll then ask Daddy for a cuddle and every time Tiger tries to put him down he'll say "No! Cud cul Dadda!" FFS.
It's becoming apparent that either the owners of this house are lying about their situation or the estate agent is. FFS.
They offered to let us out of our lease and pay some of our moving expenses, if we moved in 2 days. FFS.
Talk about being totally unrealistic. FFS.
Expecting anyone to find a place and move within 2 days is ridiculous, let alone someone who is 8 months pregnant with a toddler and fifo husband. What a joke. FFS.
And if you are going to expect someone to do that, you don't pay some of their expenses, you pay all of them! FFS.
The estate agent has told us that if they don't sell the house the bank will, however the guy selling the house has gone away for two weeks and said he'll speak to us in three weeks time. Sure. So the house is about to get repossessed and he's not going to show anyone through for at least three weeks.
Monday last week another guy from the estate agency called and left a message saying he had some "keen buyers" who really wanted to look at the house. FFS.
Tiger called him back 1/2 an hour later but he wasn't in the office so Tiger left a message. He still hasn't returned our call. Shows how keen the buyers are. FFS.
Last week Tiger bought a new computer. FFS.
It cost $1,300. FFS.
Originally he'd gotten rid of his laptop because it was too big and he bought a tablet as it could do everything that he needed. He's now decided that he wants to be able to watch movies whilst he's on the plane and he can't do that with his tablet, so now he needs a laptop. FFS.
Naturally he can't just get a normal laptop, he has to get one of those fancy ones that can be a tablet or a laptop. FFS.
Of course they cost twice as much as a normal laptop. FFS.
It runs on Windows 8 which neither of us have any idea how to use, yet he expects me to know how to do everything on it. I can't even find the bloody start menu. FFS.
The stupid laptop doesn't even have a cd drive. FFS.
$1,300 and you can't even put a cd or dvd into it. FFS.
Bloody waste of money that we really can't afford. FFS.
So now he is taking both his tablet and his stupid computer on the plane with him because he can't use the computer so uses the tablet all the time. FFS.
Should have just kept his laptop. FFS.
Or bought a cheap, portable dvd player. FFS.
Speaking of Tiger wasting money, he also bought a new mobile phone. FFS.
We replaced our phones a few months ago and got the Samsung Galaxy S4. Tiger dropped his and the screen smashed. FFS.
I ordered a replacement screen so that the phone could be fixed the day after he got home, however the screens were on back order so didn't arrive for a week. FFS.
This leads me to believe that the screens break very easily. FFS.
It cost $310 to replace the screen. FFS.
Tiger decided that as the phone had been damaged it wasn't the same as a new one and he didn't want it anymore. FFS.
So he bought a new phone identical to the one that he already had and is now trying to sell the one that he dropped. FFS.
What a ridiculous waste of money. FFS.
He tried to convince me that by selling his and buying a new one he was actually saving money. Sure. FFS.
He forgets that he hasn't managed to sell the phone yet. So far it's cost us over $1,000. FFS.
Every time that Tiger comes home he forgets to turn his alarm off. FFS.
This means that the we get woken up at 5am and then neither Chai or I can get back to sleep. FFS.
You'd think that after the first morning he'd turn his alarm off, but he doesn't so we get woken up the next morning too. FFS.
As if that's not bad enough, BIL has been really homesick at the moment so calling all the time. FFS.
His favorite time to call is 6.20am. FFS.
When he doesn't call at 6.20am he calls after 7pm and expects to speak to Chai. FFS.
When he can't talk to Chai he gets upset and says we are keeping his nephew away from him. FFS.
It hasn't occurred to him that he did that himself by moving to the other side of the country. FFS.
The Dr has told me that the baby can come anytime now and it won't be a problem. Maybe not for him, but it'll be a huge problem for me as Tiger won't be home for another week and a half. FFS.
I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions and the midwife said if they last for 40 seconds and are 5 minutes apart I need to call the hospital cause it could be the start of labor. FFS.
I had contractions all day Thursday. FFS.
They were lasting for 60 seconds but were more than 5 minutes apart. FFS.
Just in case, I rang Mum and asked her to have a bag packed so naturally she went into worried mother mode and started tracking my movements. FFS.
A few hours later she sent me a text message asking if everything was okay as I wasn't at home. I text back and told her everything was okay and I was at home. FFS.
If everything wasn't okay I would have told her as I need her to look after Chai! FFS.
I am going to spend the next week and a half doing everything I can to prevent labor. Unfortunately I have no idea how to do that as all the info on google is about how to bring on labor. FFS.
Can everyone please keep their fingers, toes and everything else crossed that I don't go into labor until Tiger is home!
Now that you've read about my weekly antics, head over to Sarah's blog and see what everyone else has been up to this week.
