FFS Friday - I Haz Skillz

Hello Friday! By some miracle we've all survived another week! And to make things even better, it's a long weekend for us here in the west.
Last Friday Tiger decided to rearrange the pictures in our house. FFS.
We haven't yet got the pictures that we want so have just hung the ones that we already have as a temporary measure so the walls aren't bare. They've all been hung in certain positions for practical reasons. Which Tiger forgets. FFS.
Without discussing it with me, he spent at least half an hour wandering around the house rearranging things. FFS.
When he'd finished I put it all back the way it had been. FFS.
A few days earlier we'd discussed moving the pictures and I'd explained to him why everything was where it was, but clearly he forgot that discussion and put things in places where they wouldn't work. FFS.
He forgets that we can't have wall hangings that are within Chai's reach as he grabs hold of them, or swings them on the wall leaving black marks etc. FFS.
When I moved everything back he wanted to rearrange it again so I spent a good fifteen minutes telling him why each picture or hanging couldn't go where he wanted it to go. FFS.
I have no doubt that we'll go through the whole exercise again in another few weeks. FFS.
Whilst he was at it he also moved Chai's toy box to a totally impractical spot. FFS.
the day he left I moved it back to it's original spot. Again, it was there because that's where it works. FFS.
Immediately after Tiger went back to work Eljay went back to waking up at 4am. FFS.
He'd been sleeping until 5.55am and I was loving the extra sleep, but now that Tiger has gone he's back to his old tricks. FFS.
I've racked my brain but I can't think of why this is happening. He has the same routine all the time, we pretty much do the same things, the only difference is that Tiger isn't here and I'm totally exhausted, neither of which are a good reason for him to wake up so early. FFS.
I'm going to have a stern word to him if he wakes up early tomorrow morning. FFS.
Speaking of Eljay, the poor thing had his first fall on Wednesday. FFS.
He fell headfirst off the bed and into the portacot (thank goodness). FFS.
We'd been playing on the bed and he was making his way to the edge of the bed as usual, so I had hold of his leg. I sneezed which loosened my grip and at the same time he did a huge leap forward, plunging headfirst off the bed and into the cot. FFS.
In my haste to get to him I got off the bed then cleverly fell over, spraining my right ankle, left knee and left wrist. I have skillz! FFS.
Thankfully he was okay, he screamed for a while then had a feed and all was well with the world. Not FFS.
Unfortunately I can't say the same for my ankle, knee and wrist, all of which are really sore. FFS.
After last weeks Cloud Dough Incident you'd think I would have learned my lesson, but no, I went back for more this week. FFS.
Chai wanted to play with the dough and it was quite hot so I set him up at the dining table. Big mistake. FFS.
I ended up with dough all over the floor, all over Chai, all over the table and all through the carpet in the theater room. FFS.
As I still have no vacuum I had to crawl around on my knees with the dustpan and brush trying to collect all the cloud dough. FFS.
It's still embedded in the table. FFS.
I really need to throw it in the bin. FFS.
That concludes my whinges for today, I hope they've made you laugh and you aren't too disappointed at the lack of poo incidents, I'm sure there will be one next week. 
If you'd like to read more whinges, head over to Sarah and Brad's blog.