Time for the latest episode of what's been getting my goat this week. Want to know? Let me tell you.
This week I've been told by two kind, well meaning health professionals that I can't keep going like this and I need to take care of myself.
You know what? I know that! But really, how am I supposed to look after myself? I do the best I can but certain things I can't change. I can't change Chai. I can't change Tigers job. I can't put the kids in school unless I want to send us all crazy. I can't get a babysitter because Chai is too anxious to stay with anyone. So please, tell me how I'm supposed to take care of myself?
I do the best I can but some days are just tough and that's the way it is. I figure I have two choices. I can sit around complaining about how tough life is or I can get on with it. I choose to get on with it.
The other thing that helps me is I know this is only temporary. Whilst Chai is extremely difficult to deal with at the moment, it's not permanent. Nothing is. In time I'll get the right combination of treatment for Chai and life will get easier. That's what I focus on. This too shall pass.
It'd be great if, instead of telling people they need to look after themselves, health professional offered help or suggested appropriate support service? Almost anything would be better than telling someone they need to look after themselves. We all know that, it's not helpful.
All of us can and do get through difficult things because the simple fact is we have no choice. Things happen and you deal with them. You might not deal with them well, it might be tough, messy and awful, but you still deal with them.
You get up and you get through the day, go to bed and then get up and get through the next day. Some days you might not make it out of bed but you're still dealing with it and the next day you'll start again.
Life is tough. It's ugly, it's messy and it's soul destroying. It's also beautiful, heart warming and wonderful. Whether we're having a great day or an awful day we all do our best. We get through the day and live to face another day.
So, what would I like people to say instead of you need to look after yourself? Here's a few suggestions:
You're amazing.
You're coping so well.
How can I help?
Here's some chocolate.
Would you and the kids like to meet at the park so we can chat whilst they play?
Can I take the boys to the park for a little while?
Here's a coffee.
Or any other kind, helpful words. Just not you need to look after yourself. That's not helpful.
Truth be told most days I don't know how I survive. Most days I barely cope. That's my reality. But I have no choice. There aren't any other options. So I cope. As do we all.
Have a beautiful weekend
