Last Friday was one of those days. FFS.
Actually, every day is one of those days lately. FFS.
Chai has been driving me crazy. FFS.
I frequently marvel at the fact that there are any adults in this world. If every three year old acts like mine has been, it's a major miracle any child makes it to their fourth birthday. FFS.
Luckily for me my Mum has been here for most of the week. Not FFS.
If she hadn't been I have no idea how I would have coped. FFS.
Chai is demanding, whinging, throwing tantrums, yelling at me, being nasty to his brother and just being a nightmare. FFS.
He starts from the second he wakes up. FFS.
I am not a morning person. FFS.
For the first time ever I am not enjoying being a parent. FFS.
I'm over it. FFS.
I can totally understand how mothers just walk out the front door and don't come back. FFS.
I hate that I feel like that. FFS.
I know it's a temporary stage Chai is going through but I am totally over it. FFS.
Then in the midst of the tantrums he has moments of gorgeousness. Yesterday he went up to a lady with a little baby and told her "That's a beautiful little baby you have there". Every morning he greets his brother saying "Good morning my precious soo oots" (for some reason he has nicknamed Eljay soo oots). Not FFS.
It's these moments that I'm clinging to at the moment, remembering that my precious little soul is transforming, this is just a stage and my beautiful boy is still in there somewhere. Remembering that at 5am is not my strong point. FFS.
I also really want to enjoy him as much as I can because I know that the time I have with him is precious. It's these years I'll look back on and miss. It won't be long until he's busy with school and friends and I won't be the center of his world anymore. It's then that I'll yearn for these days and I'll be annoyed that I wasn't more patient and understanding.
I've found myself getting really, really frustrated with him. FFS.
And I've had moments of acting like a child myself. FFS.
Wednesday after he'd had a huge fit over me not giving him a custard bar (purely because I had no idea what he was talking about), I yelled at him that we don't have a custard bar, slammed the door of the car (we were on our way out) got into the drivers seat and when he started carrying on again I told him I didn't want to hear a word out of him. FFS.
Mother of the year nomination coming up soon. FFS.
If you are wondering why I'm a little late with my post this morning, last night was another fun one. FFS.
Chai had a sleep during the day which meant that he stayed up later, that wasn't a problem. I put Eljay to bed and he woke up an hour later screaming. It took me two and a half hours to get him back to sleep. FFS.
Then I had to put Chai to sleep. FFS.
I finally walked out of the bedroom at 9.25pm. FFS.
I hadn't had tea, the house was a mess, the dishes weren't done and Tiger was waiting for me to call him. FFS.
I took a sip of my very cold tea and was about to go to the fridge to get some tea, when I heard Eljay crying. FFS.
This was quickly followed by Chai running into the kitchen. FFS.
By 10.30pm they were both still awake so I gave up on having tea and went to bed. FFS.
Eljay barely slept all night. FFS.
No idea why. FFS.
Panadol didn't help, he's not teething, he's not sick, he just didn't sleep. FFS.
I had planned on writing this post once the boys were asleep but clearly that didn't happen. FFS.
I'd been planning an early night too, that didn't happen either. FFS.
The house is a total mess and I'm exhausted, so we are going out today. It's the only solution!
Have a beautiful weekend everyone.
If you've managed to get through my epic whinge, congratulations. If you'd like to read more whinges, head over to Sarah's blog.
