This week I have a special FFS Friday, it's the pregnant edition! Yes, I'm finally pregnant, twelve weeks today. I've know I was pregnant since week four, so I have a lot of complaining to get out of my system. Here goes.
My first pregnancy symptoms were reflux and leaking wee when I sneezed. These symptoms started in week four. Great. Welcome to pregnancy. FFS.
At week five the morning sickness, extreme hunger, baby brain and prego rage kicked in. FFS.
It irks me greatly that they call it morning sickness, it's not morning sickness, it's 24/7 all day all night never ending sickness. FFS.
As if that wasn't bad enough I was extremely tired. FFS.
So tired that I'd fall asleep whilst Chai was playing and only wake up when he jumped on me. FFS.
Being jumped on is not a very nice way to wake up. FFS.
By week six I was so sick and miserable that if I'd miscarried I would have been relieved. FFS.
I felt awful for thinking that way but I was so, so sick and miserable. FFS.
I spent a day sleeping then saw my naturopath who gave me acupuncture and I felt heaps better. Not FFS.
After my second acupuncture treatment I felt almost normal again. Not FFS.
I've had baby brain to the extreme. This time around it's been dangerous too. FFS.
One night I was making dinner, I got it all ready, put it on the stove then went to play with Chai. A while later I heard a strange noise, looked into the kitchen and was surprised to see food bubbling away on the stove. FFS.
Now I set the oven timer for 15 minutes every time I'm cooking. FFS.
My belly was bloated right from the start so trying to keep my pregnancy a secret wasn't easy. FFS.
For the last two weeks I've forgotten to add my FFS Friday link to Sarah's blog. FFS.
After his initial shock*, Hubby was excited about the pregnancy and wanted to tell everyone but I said no. That didn't stop him. FFS.
Thankfully he managed to restrain himself and only told the guys at work. FFS.
My Mum guessed that I was pregnant because I was so sick. FFS.
MIL really pissed me off. She just can't keep her nose out of things. When they came down on christmas day the first thing she did was put her hand on my belly and say "any news?". I ignored her and walked off so she followed me saying "Is there any news? Are you not saying anything? No comment? You have nothing to say?"
At which point I turned around and said "It's none of your business". She replied "So there is news". By this time hubby was grinning like an idiot. She was still following me around so I turned around and said "I didn't want to say anything but you haven't given me much choice have you!" Then she says "Oh, sorry." By this time prego rage had kicked in and I said "It's none of your business. We were going to tell you when we were ready, not when you forced us to but you just can't mind your own business can you!" Then I went to my room. FFS.Bloody stickybeak woman. FFS.
I saw the Dr, gave pathology about a liter of blood and a bottle of wee, then went to book my ultrasound. They told me I had to have the ultrasound that day because there was a risk of an ectopic pregnancy. FFS.
That was the first I'd heard about it. FFS.
The logical me would have know that was just a precaution and not worried about it, however the prego me panicked and called hubby at work telling him he had to come home because there might be something wrong with the baby. FFS.
Thankfully hubby managed to talk some sense into me before he left work. Not FFS.
Unfortunately he didn't manage to calm me down before I'd driven over a star picked and put a huge gash in the tire. FFS.
The tire went flat so then I was housebound. FFS.
We had our ultrasound when I was 9 weeks and 4 days pregnant, only to find out that thanks to my long cycle I was 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant. FFS.
Thankfully bub has a good strong heartbeat. Not FFS.
Once was saw the heartbeat hubby thought that meant he could start telling everyone. FFS.
I realised this and stopped him from telling everyone, cause I wanted a few more weeks to keep it to ourselves before we told the whole world. FFS.
Chai has become obsessed with my belly lately. FFS.
He's constantly patting it. And by patting, I mean slapping it as hard as he can, or biting it. The last time he bit it he drew blood. FFS.
I'm in quandry as to what to do about an obstetrician. I have a great ob here who I'd be happy to see again, however we are moving down south and I don't want to have half my care up here and half down there, because I want to be comfortable with the person who's going to spend an hour staring at my girl bits. FFS.
I've spoken to my GP and he said that he'll look after me until we move or until I'm 20 weeks pregnant and then I need to be seeing the obstetrician. Thankfully I have found an obstetrician down south. Not FFS.
Tuesday Chai learned how to unscrew lids off jars. FFS.
As with any new skill, he decided to practice it as often as he could. FFS.
He demonstrated this to me by taking the lid off the air freshener whilst I was in the shower and pouring it all over himself, the floor, the toilet etc. FFS.
Hubby had been in the lounge room at the time, so he cleaned him up. Not FFS.
A few minutes later I was doing my hair (hubby was back in the lounge room) when Chai comes into the bathroom with a brand new bottle of dark green glitter nail polish. FFS.
It was all over his face, hands and legs. FFS.
It was also all over me, the carpet, the wall and my bathroom. FFS.
I was wearing a new skirt for the first time, it got covered in nail polish. FFS.
Chai managed to empty the whole bottle of nail polish. I hadn't even used it. Now I can't find that color at Target. FFS.
The new company that hubby (who from now on shall be known as Tiger) is going to be working for are absolutely hopeless. FFS.
They sent him an offer of employment last Thursday and said that once they'd received the signed copy back he would get an email and be flying out on Wednesday. We emailed back the signed offer on Thursday and when we hadn't heard anything on Tuesday he rang them. As usual, he got voicemail. FFS.
Just to be sure, we resent the email and faxed a copy of the offer of employment through. We still heard nothing. FFS.
At 1.30pm hubby called back and managed to get hold of someone who promised that she would get someone to return hubby's phone call. Five minutes later the girl he's been dealing with called and said that she was at lunch but she "should have called him". FFS.
She told him that she isn't sure when he'll be flying out but it probably won't be until next week. FFS.
All she has to do is make one phone call to find out when the next induction is and then she'll know when he's flying out. Clearly that is too difficult for her. FFS.
If we'd known hubby wasn't flying out this week we would have stayed down south longer and seen my obstetrician. FFS.
Yesterday we still hadn't heard when Tiger was going to fly out so we went into the office to find out. Chai was asleep in the car so I sat in the car with him. Hubby was in the office for over an hour. FFS.
There is now a new person dealing with Tiger and by the the afternoon she'd sorted everything out, emailed us flight details etc. Not FFS.
Last week I witnessed a spectacular display of bad customer service. FFS.
We were at The Coffee Club at Karrinyup (where I have only ever received wonderful customer service). They were really busy so we'd stood around for about 10 minutes waiting for a table. FFS.
We finally got a table, decided what we wanted and Tiger was standing in line waiting to order whilst Chai and I sat at the table. One of the staff came over with two customers behind her, put their food and drinks down on our table and asked me if we'd ordered yet. I told her that we hadn't and she told me that the people with her needed a seat. I told her that my husband was waiting to order and gave her my F@#$ off look. FFS.
She then went to the table behind me where there were three adults and two children sitting. Meanwhile the couple looked like they were about to sit down at my table so I gave them the F@#$ off look too. FFS.
She asked the people at the table if they had finished, they told her they'd finished their food but hadn't finished their drinks. She kicked them off the table, handed their drinks to them and made them stand up! FFS.
Meanwhile the people at the table next to me had finished, their table had been cleared and they were just sitting there chatting. The poor people who got kicked off their table were really annoyed (especially as the girl had been quite rude in the way she spoke to them and me) and said that they'd never be going back there. Can't blame them. FFS.
I have no idea why you'd order food before you found a table. It's just common sense, you get a table before you order or you get takeaway. FFS.
Tuesday Tiger, Chai and I were out shopping. We stopped to get some food. When the food arrived Tiger ignored his food and started putting salt all over my chips. FFS.
A huge pile of salt poured out, he expressed surprise at how much salt had come out and then continued pouring salt all over my food. FFS.
Before I had the chance to touch my meal, hubby started eating my chips! FFS.
By a superhuman effort of restraint I managed to keep my mouth shut. FFS.
We now have a rule that he doesn't put salt on my food and doesn't touch it until I've finished. FFS.
He knows that unless you have a death wish you do not come between a pregnant woman and her food. FFS.
Having Tiger at home has been really nice in some ways and really unpleasant in other ways. FFS.
Wednesday morning I heard strange noises coming from Chai's bedroom. I asked Tiger what he was doing and he said he was "measuring a few things". I knew it wasn't going to end well. FFS.
Without consulting me he decided to rearrange Chai's bedroom. He cleverly put the large chest of drawers right next to the cot so that Chai will be able to use it to climb out of the cot. FFS.
As if that wasn't bad enough he put the change table in front of the window so I can't reach the cord to close the blinds and I can't reach to close the curtain. FFS.
The furniture is too heavy for me to move so I can't change the room back to the way it was. FFS.
Wednesday we got a call from Bankwest telling us our mortgage was in arrears. FFS.
We'd asked if we could suspend our payments over christmas which they had organised and assured us that we would not go into arrears as our repayments were ahead. FFS.
They miscalculated something, causing our loan to go into arrears. FFS.
Now we are $1000 behind through no fault of our own. Bastards. FFS.
Wow, what an epic whinge. Is anyone still with me? If you are, congratulations. Have a wonderful weekend!
*A note about hubby being surprised that I was pregnant. I have no idea why he was surprised, we had agreed that we were trying for a baby and were deliberately having 'special cuddles' when I was ovulating, so his surprised surprised me!
