Hair & Beauty Magazine

FFS Friday

By Glossqueen @Gloss_Queen
Friday is here again. My funniness has left the building this week, so I have nothing witty to say. FFS. 
Four weeks ago we bought bub some new winter clothes because he had none. FFS.
Since then he's had a growth spurt and now none of his new clothes fit him. FFS.
Apparently every other boy child in Perth has done the same thing, so finding size 1 clothes for him is near on impossible. FFS.
I've been hunting high and low trying to find jumpers, pants, shirts, shoes and jackets for him. FFS.
Friday Mum and I went to five different shops just to find him a pair of tracksuit pants. FFS.
This was not good for my knee. FFS.
I am getting so many spam comments on my blog, it's driving me crazy. I get at least 10 every day. FFS.
They're so stupid and don't make any sense at all. For example "I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike." FFS.
Lately I've been filling out forms that ask for my occupation. I usually write Mother but have decided that's rather boring so from now on I'm going to write Lady of Leisure. When that gets boring I'm going to think up something exotic like Snake Tamer or Witch or Dark Angel or Fish Pond Maker. Wonder if anyone will believe me.
Lots of people have been asking what I did to my bung knee. FFS.
I'm getting really sick of telling them that I slipped getting into the shower so have started saying that I hurt it wrestling a python. For reasons that I can't fathom, no-one believes me. FFS.
I'll have to come up with something more believable. FFS.
Maybe I'll tell them I was attacked by the yakuza and hurt my knee doing a flying kick to the ring leaders head. That's much more believable. FFS.
Mum was here this week and committed the cardinal sin of bringing her reading material out of the toilet again! FFS.
Luckily this time I headed her off at the pass before she could return said reading material to the lounge room and spread the toilet germs. FFS.
Last week I had to stop using anti-inflammatories as they were giving me asthma. FFS.
My knee has been really sore ever since. FFS.
Tuesday I went to the physio who told me that my knee is worse, I have less movement and it's more swollen. FFS.
Clearly my bung knee missed the memo telling it that due to a change in management policy it would have to get better without rest and drugs. FFS.
So now I have to decide which bothers me more, not being able to breathe or having a sore knee. FFS.
You'd think this would be a simple decision but it's not. FFS.
I've decided I'll alternate and have one day of not being able to breathe and one day of my knee feeling better. FFS.
To my great delight my Mummy ears have left the building. Whilst I'm thrilled about this, hubby isn't. FFS.
For the last few nights I've had 7 hours of blissful, uninterrupted sleep. Not because bub is sleeping through, but because I'm just not waking up. Hubby has been getting up to bub whilst I slumber away totally unaware. As if in payback for this, bub has been waking up at 5am and taking over an hour to get back to sleep. FFS.
Hubby got a letter this week addressing him as "Comrade". FFS.
In the absence of MIL whinges this week, I thought I'd share a story with you from last week.
Last Wednesday was a very wet, stormy day. It rained most of the day and we had hail for a while. MIL decided to go for a walk at lunchtime. As it'd been raining all day the roads were very wet and there were puddles everywhere. One section of road near our house gets flooded in the rain, so naturally that's where MIL walks. She was walking along next to the flooded road and cars started coming past so she stopped walking whilst they all went past, hoping that she wouldn't get wet (even though it was raining).
Most of the cars went past her slowly however a black commodore ute with two young guys went past at speed and she got soaking wet ("As if someone threw three buckets of water on me!")
Instead of doing the sensible thing and coming home, MIL decided to go into a shop. (This was probably because she knew she'd get more sympathy from the shop staff than from me.) So she races into this shop all dramatic and gets lots of sympathy from the staff. Deciding she couldn't come home in wet clothes, she then buys a whole new outfit to walk the 50 meters home in.
When she'd had enough of playing the drama queen she came home. I failed to notice that she was in a different outfit so she then spent 10 minutes telling me about the "dickheads" who deliberately wet her.
By some miracle when she got home her hair was completely dry, not sure how that happened.
I asked her why she didn't just come home as it was closer and she said that if she'd walked home in her wet clothes she would have got sick. I wasn't aware that water made people sick, that's a new one. In reality she walked further to get to the shop than she would have had to walk home, and she didn't get sick. FFS.
And that's my whinge for the week. Have a great weekend!
Dear Baby G

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