As I mentioned last week, bub has been sick. FFS.
He won't sleep in our bed anymore, he thinks it's playtime when he comes into our room. FFS.
Whilst he was sick hubby kept on bringing him into our bed. FFS.
This meant that none of us got any sleep. FFS.
Everytime we have a bad night with bub hubby has to make some comment about it being lucky that we only have one child. FFS.
He acts like he doesn't want another baby, even though he's the one who keeps on telling people that we're trying and we'd love to have another baby. FFS.
Saturday started at 5am and was one of those days where I wished the ground would open up and swallow my husband. FFS.
Despite me explaining to him that Mummy is much more fun when she isn't woken up in the middle of the night or early in the morning, Monday bub woke up at 2.30am, 3.30am and then decided to start his day at 4.30am. FFS.
Tuesday he woke up at 4am, 5am and 6am. FFS.
Wednesday he woke up at 5.30am, I got him back to sleep then he woke up again at 6am. FFS.
Thursday he woke up at 5am and it took me an hour and a half to get him back to sleep. FFS.
My hayfever has been really bad the past few weeks. FFS.
Tuesday I was talking to my favourite lady at The Body Shop when a torrent of snot started streaming out of my nose. FFS.
If you think I'm exaggerating, I'm not. It was like someone turned a tap on. The snot came out so fast that I didn't even have time to get a tissue. FFS.
I did however manage to catch the stream of snot in my hand. FFS.
To my mortification, the TBS lady saw the whole incident. FFS.
You'd think bub would have distracted her so that I could clean up my snot in privacy, but no, he was too busy picking snot out of his nose. FFS.
Prior to having bub things like this never happened, so I can only conclude it is all bub's fault that I no longer have any dignity. FFS.
For some reason that I don't understand, I am unable to comment on some blogger blogs. I type in the comment, press enter and it disappears. FFS.
This usually happens when I've thought up a particularly witty comment. FFS.
I bought bub a Nuby Snack Keeper, brilliant idea. It is supposed to mean that his snacks don't end up all over the floor. Naturally, bub decided the best way to use the Snack Keeper is to shake it until all the food comes out and then eat it off the floor. FFS.
Things I learned from my toddler this week: Water is not for drinking, it is for tipping on the floor so that you can play in the puddles.
Dribbling water out of your mouth is lots of fun and gets a great reaction from strangers.
It's much more fun to play with food than it is to eat it.
Anything that can fit should be put into the toilet when Mum isn't looking.
If you can't get it into the toilet without Mum catching you, put it in the washing machine.
When a good song comes on, stop whatever you are doing and start dancing.
If you want to play with something on the table and Mum won't let you, put one of your toys up there and pretend you want it back.
Tables are great to dance on.
Flushing the toilet is a lot of fun.
The best way to flush the toilet is to stand on Mums knee whilst she is using the toilet, lean over her shoulder and press the button before she can stand up.
