Farmville Requests

 by Ashley Lister
 Below please find a poem that I read at last night's Dead Good Poets' open mic event. Please note that, whilst this event was themed around LOVE - this poem does not purport to be about LOVE. Please also note that, whilst this week's theme on the blog is for shapes - the best I can think to say here is that this poem fills a blog-shaped hole this Saturday morning.
However, rest assured that the sentiment behind the poem is as heartfelt as anything I've ever written.
You can stick your f***ing Farmville Where the sun will never shineI won’t waste my life on sh*t like thisI just don’t have the time.
I’m not saying that it’s dangerousAnd I don’t wish you were deadBut instead of playing FarmvilleWhy not have a wank instead?
Why not read a book?Why not talk to those you treasure?Why not ignore your virtual farmAnd find some real pleasure?
Maybe find a cure for cancer?Maybe help to forge world peace?Maybe fight the diaspora That plagues the Lebanese?
Or do you really need some helpWith harvesting your virtual crops?Help for ploughing your virtual fields?Assistance in the husbandry of your virtual livestock?
Cos if you really need my helpI think that’s cause for alarmCos you’re asking for assistance To manage your own imaginary farm
So stick your f***ing Farmville Where the sun will never shineI don’t waste my life on sh*t like thisI just don’t have the time.
And stick your f***ing Coasterville In the same dark place of funFill it up with Angry BirdsBlock it with a Temple Run
These stupid f***ing gamesReally get right on my titsSo stop pestering me with your dumb requestsCos I’m playing Bejewelled Blitz.