Diaries Magazine

"Facts" About the Presidential Candidates

By Dmroughton
My Facebook peeps enjoyed this, so I thought I would share it here as well:
Reasons I am not voting for EITHER candidate based on pure "facts" that I have read on the internet, or heard somebody's cousin's grandma's uncle's goldfish say, or some stuff that is probably true even though I dreamt it:
  1. Romney is a communist. 
  2. Obama is a Muslim covertly committing jihad against America.
  3. Romney vacations on the planet Kolob. 
  4. Obama vacations everywhere.
  5. Romney is racist against white people.
  6. Obama is racist against black people.
  7. Romney thinks 47% of Americans want to live off welfare.
  8. Obama thinks 1% of Americans are slave masters to the rest of us field negroes.
  9. Romney shot Kennedy from the grassy knoll.
  10. Obama shot Lincoln in Ford's Theater.
  11. Romney, a Mormon, has 15 wives and 72 children.
  12. Obama, a black man, has 15 baby mamas and 72 children.
  13. Romney wears thongs.
  14. Obama goes commando.
  15. Romney sold America to China for some opium.
  16. Obama sold America to the Middle East for some hashish.  
  17. And the main reason I am not voting for either one is that neither one looks like me, which means they are different and, therefore, obviously cannot be trusted. Plus, they both still owe me $20 from when we went to get hot wings, and they both "forgot" their wallets.

Disclaimer: "Facts" presented here may not actually be "pure" nor "facts."

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