Reasons I am not voting for EITHER candidate based on pure "facts" that I have read on the internet, or heard somebody's cousin's grandma's uncle's goldfish say, or some stuff that is probably true even though I dreamt it:
- Romney is a communist.
- Obama is a Muslim covertly committing jihad against America.
- Romney vacations on the planet Kolob.
- Obama vacations everywhere.
- Romney is racist against white people.
- Obama is racist against black people.
- Romney thinks 47% of Americans want to live off welfare.
- Obama thinks 1% of Americans are slave masters to the rest of us field negroes.
- Romney shot Kennedy from the grassy knoll.
- Obama shot Lincoln in Ford's Theater.
- Romney, a Mormon, has 15 wives and 72 children.
- Obama, a black man, has 15 baby mamas and 72 children.
- Romney wears thongs.
- Obama goes commando.
- Romney sold America to China for some opium.
- Obama sold America to the Middle East for some hashish.
- And the main reason I am not voting for either one is that neither one looks like me, which means they are different and, therefore, obviously cannot be trusted. Plus, they both still owe me $20 from when we went to get hot wings, and they both "forgot" their wallets.
Disclaimer: "Facts" presented here may not actually be "pure" nor "facts."
