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Engagement Etiquette for the Modern Woman

Posted on the 11 February 2015 by Ncrimaldi @MsCareerGirl
Engagement Etiquette for the Modern Woman

Whether your man has popped the question or you feel that it’s on the horizon, understanding traditional engagement etiquette is a good idea.


You may not be the type to care about the announcement, and you may opt to just get hitched and elope. However, if you want to celebrate and announce your engagement to others, knowing how it has been done both in modern and traditional ways can give you fewer worries and can help you enjoy the moment better.


Pick a ring. Your boyfriend will most likely do this for you, but many couples now choose to pick the ring together. So if he asks you to help him pick one, don’t get offended! An engagement ring announces your promise to each other not just to your loved ones but to anyone who sees it on your finger. It is important that you are able to find one that really represents your relationship. If you decide that you want to get the ring together, my friends particularly love Vashi engagement rings as they really help find you the perfect one.


Tell both sets of parents in person, if possible. Traditionally, the bride’s parents are told first. Men usually consult his family about his plans anyway so they already would have an idea.  Whatever the case, tell family members in person if you can. It is a good sign of respect and consideration for them. If they are far, arrange a call with both of you present. Have them talk to both you and your husband to be.


In some cultures, it is important to bring both sets of parents together before announcing your engagement. Be sensitive to your partner’s cultural background.  However, traditionally it is after informing them separately that you need to bring them together to celebrate your engagement.  Arrange a lunch or dinner where your families can be together.


Traditionally, after informing the parents, you then inform your friends and the general public. Back then, an engagement party is as much an event requirement as the wedding. However these days, it is optional and can even be hosted for you by your friends. If you are throwing one or being given one, one thing you have to remember is that you are in charge of the guest list. It is not advised to invite people who won’t be invited to the wedding.


How to inform the public? You can do it the traditional way of announcing it through your local paper. Call them and ask for their template for engagement announcements and supply them with what they need.  Your engagement will be announced 2-3 months before the wedding. However, you need to start planning the wedding a lot earlier and as I talked about it before – you can manage your career and plan your wedding at the same time!


Taking the announcement to social media can also be done, especially since this is the free and easy way to get word around your network. If you are to put it online, however, make sure to do it with finesse. Happy as you are, DO NOT GLOAT.  You are bringing the announcement to public eyes, so make sure your cause of celebration does not offend or raise eyebrows.

This is a special time in your life and this has to be enjoyed to the fullest with people who love and support the two of you. Celebrating your engagement with them is a great way of showing your appreciation for their role in your relationship. However you want to announce it, do it with grace and gratitude.  

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