Would you write something for me?
No.
You wrote something for So-and-So!
So-and-So is a personal friend of mine, and I rarely say no to friends.
Will you do it if I pay you?
Sure, as long as it’s on a topic I care about or think is important.
What if I want you to say a specific thing?
You mean like writing you an ad? If I were any good at that, I’d make a lot more money than I do.
Well, could I write a guest post and pay you to publish it?
Don’t even go there.
But you have guest posts every month!
Yeah, from people I invite; they’re guests, not infomercials.
Well, some of your guests are definitely selling things.
Yes, and those people are friends. Did you miss the part where I’m loyal to my friends?
Do you have something against monetizing your reputation?
You’re kidding, right?
So, what’s the harm in my paying you to call attention to my product?
Nothing, if your product is any good and I’ve actually used and liked it. Like, for example, I don’t mind giving Steak ‘n Shake restaurants a plug because I freaking love Steak ‘n Shake and will eat there every time I get the chance. Hell, I once did a whole column on Waffle House. But if you’re, say, a Nevada brothel where I’ve never worked, I’m not going to sing your praises just because you paid me to. I’m the Honest Courtesan, remember? If I like your book, movie, restaurant, brand of lube or whatever I’ll praise it, and if you want to give me money to really emphasize that praise I won’t turn you down. But if your product is shitty I’m not going to damage my reputation by endorsing it.
I think you’ll like my product; how do I get you to try it?
Well, publishers do it by offering me promotional copies. And right now I’m testing out a service that I may end up endorsing pretty soon, provided it measures up as it looks like it might. If you genuinely think I’ll like what you have to offer, and you think my name will lend respectability to whatever it is, and I think you’ll be a friend to the sex worker community, and you’re willing to support my work by giving me lovely money, please feel free to email me and we’ll talk. The worst thing that can happen is I’ll tell you “no”.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
