My son is eight years old.
And I was not the same parent couple of years ago that I am today.
And I did not like the parent I was. I would shout and ask him to do something if he did not listen to me.
I would notice how different he is from me.
He has so much capacity to love me inspite of me scolding him.
I did not want to continue the way I was.
I understood gradually that I it is not important that I buy him toys or take him to exciting places.
What is important is that I am there for him when he needs me.
Also understanding little things like a friend calling him names or someone not allowing him to play with their group.
Giving him a hug and helping him with his homework.
Understand that he needs more time to learn some things and there are some things he knows more than me.
Like loving me unconditionally, accepting me with all my weaknesses and not inspite of my weaknesses.
Standing up for me even at such a young age and making me realize that I am not loving him enough through his expressions.
Here is an article from an expert on parenting with empathy. I think parenting with empathy will lead to children too developing empathy.
http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/parenting-without-punishment-4-step-action-plan/
One boy in my son’s class hit him. My son hit him back.
I asked my son do you think this is a solution.
The next time the boy tried something else.
I asked my son try to think why does the other boy do all of this?
Maybe he is treated the way he is treating others.
What is another way you can deal with this situation? How can this change instead of the boy doing something or the other to hurt you?
Someone behaving badly has always had some pain which we do not know or we may not understand even if we knew what it is.
It is time we start treating people with empathy.
Yes we need to protect but ourselves.
But we need not add on to another person’s pain.
While parenting, we can lose our temper or we can look at what is happening from an entirely different perspective, if we practice empathy towards others.
What is happenning when a person is raping another? The rapist’s empathy switch is turned off. The person does not feel another’s pain.
http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023%2FA%3A1017518414946#page-1
What is happenning where there is domestic violence? There is lack of empathy and no feeling for another’s pain.
Do you see what we can do through spreading empathy?
It can be like a ripple.
Let us work on healing others through empathy.
Let us start first with treating our children and family members with empathy.
