Health Magazine

Embrace Yourself as a Whole Not in Separate Parts

By Cass
Hi All,
I am starting to come back, finally! I have been struggling with being fatigued and ill.....when I say fatigued I mean the worse case I have ever experienced, just the action of opening my eyes has been enough to use all the energy that I have left. So I have been working from home, resting and sleeping as much as I possibly can. Today is the first day I feel vaguely human and not some form of walking zombie. They wouldn't have needed to put any makeup on my to give me a part in the Walking Dead, and that is no joke.
Embrace yourself as a whole not in separate parts
So I am back to chat to you all about the realisation I have had over the past week, because well who doesn't love a good realisation in life? So here is mine and I am looking forward to telling you how it is going over the next few weeks.
Embracing the illness is a greater fight than pushing against it.
I have spent many years fighting against pain and fatigue, even before I knew why I was always so ill I was determined to get out of bed and fight back. The sheer strength, physically and emotionally, it took to carry on everyday was incredible and I have no clue where I got it from sometimes. Days would merge into weeks because my sole focus was on keeping myself fighting the invisible force. Then it all changed.
Embrace yourself as a whole not in separate parts
Last week I was sat at my desk in work and I realised that the fight had gone and been taken over by a different kind of embrace of the illness. It was instantaneous and felt like a change in my mind set that would last for the rest of my life. Why am I putting all my energy into something that I cannot change or bend to fit into my lifestyle. At the end of the day, when you spend all your time giving eneergy to one thing, you ultimately miss out on life. So I decided there and then I was just going to embrace it as a part of me and listen to what it's saying to me........then fight back like hell!
So what does this actually mean?
Firstly I want you all to know that choosing to fight in a different way is not GIVING IN! It is in fact the opposite. I am allowing myself to listen to what my body, food, time, medicine....then I am giving it what it needs and forgetting it again to spend time enjoying life. It is all to easy to get wrapped up in the world of illness, that you miss out on many things that are here and now.
Embrace yourself as a whole not in separate parts
So this is how I will now be spending my energy. I will be more responsible of my health in many ways; listening to what it's telling me, fighting to get back to full strength and taking time for of the most important things. I have been in this mindset now for 6 days and I can only say that they have been hard. It is hard for me to just go and lie down in the afternoon and not clean the kitchen, but this is exactly what is needed. And let me tell you this.....when I do clean the kitchen I will have worked hard to get to a point where I can....there is no celebration bigger than that one!!

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