Photo credit: KateWares via Flickr
If you've been keeping up with my blog, you know the past few months have been a struggle financially. And if you've ever struggled financially, then you know that puts a stress on everything else: marriage, kids and self-esteem included. It's been a challenge to feel grateful for what we still have even though they are the most important things (health, love, a roof over our heads) and I work on it every day.
Yesterday, I ran out of toilet paper. Drip dry or paper towel, kids. I didn't have the cash to go buy more. I didn't want to write a check that might not go through. Today is payday and it takes a few days for it to show up. Plus, most of it is already gone between gas, groceries and bills. Furthermore, it is not mentally healthy to attempt to take my 3 kids (7, 5, 2) to the store when I am highly stressed. A recipe for parenting disaster, that is.
A good friend of mine called - she never calls. We usually email to arrange in-person play-dates for us and our kids. After some small-talk I let loose and cried on her "shoulder" for a few minutes - vented is a more appropriate term. I'm not used to this kind of financial struggle; we used to be comfortable. So much for taking a chance on our dream business, but I refuse to regret it. Moving on...
She and her husband have big hearts. She emailed me later and told me she'd be dropping off some TP and asked if there was anything else I needed. Milk, cheese (it was homemade pizza night)... that's as much as I could bring myself to ask for (pride). A couple of hours later she shows up with the value pack of toilet paper, milk, cheese, bread, crackers, chicken, a few other food items I would never spend on right now AND two big packs of Legos for my kids!
A host of emotions rolled over me, gratitude being one, but shame and embarrassment too. However, I hiked up my big-girl panties and let those restrictive emotions pass on through. What I was left with was an immense sense of gratitude. I was humbled and so thankful.
Never let pride prevent you from feeling gratitude. Never let pride get in the way of accepting a friend or family member's generosity. Let love and gratitude flow through you - it feels amazing.
Do you practice gratitude?
