M and I often disagree and that is what I love about us. He always makes sure to challenge what I believe in. Likewise, I make sure his views encompass opposing ones as well. But, there is one thing that we can never see eye to eye on…
M is a strong believer of the ‘right time’. No matter what is being questioned it will be answered, dealt with or accomplished at the right time. This goes from taking the rice out the cooker to getting married. Whatever it is, M will be sure that it will be seen to at the right time.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am a great believer in leaving some things up to the Universe. I am equally irritating with mantras such as everything happens for a reason and what will be will be. Yet, I think they differ from M’s philosophy of a right time. For a while, I have been contemplating this and at one time I had it down to being a Nepali thing. Many Nepalis seem to be quite laid back and happy with taking things as they come. However, these days after meeting a lot more Nepalis I am thinking that it is just a M thing.
I think by presupposing there is a right time, many other opportunities may fly by amiss. Perhaps, not so much with taking the rice out of the cooker but with more important things like marriage. Also, by assuming there is a right time for these commitments you are at danger of putting more pressure on yourself in knowing when you feel that way.
That being said, I think M also uses it as a fall back option. Sometimes his right time is just another day in the future when he is forced to address the issue at hand. As a Virgo, this attitude is something that can drive me a little nuts. I pride myself on having things planned and finished before other people have even started thinking about them!
I have never felt there is a right time in my life for the things that I have experienced. As a child I did not feel I was ready to leave school. I never felt ready to start driving. In each and every exam I have taken I have never felt ready. Also, I have moved around every 18 months of my life, something else I have never experienced as ever being the right time. Yet, when I have the opportunity to reflect on my life, everything was the right time. Things have a way of just haphazardly piecing together when you feel you are not ready for them. It is that, which assembles the person you are destined to be.
Truthfully, a person is never ready. There is no such thing as the right time. Is that not so beautifully ironic that indeed when you are not ready, that is the most perfect time? When you are scared and your hands are clammy, there is no better time to take that bungee jump. When you have just started to feel settled in your job, there is no better time to challenge yourself.
Quite amusingly, if I was waiting for the right time to venture to Nepal and live with M’s family for nearly four months, the time would most certainly not be now. I do not feel ready at all to take the next chapter in my life when I am just getting comfortable in this one. But I am happy to go against my panic, worry and uncertainty to have a new experience and continue shaping my future self. Thus, by using M’s logic in this way I can only attempt to show him that actually it is OK to be scared and feel lost.
Although, I do not have all the answers and a better model of the ‘right time’. I think it is important to challenge your fear and realise in fact these are the best times to take life by the reigns and just go with it has given you.
Do you believe that there is a ‘right time’ to wait for? What are your thoughts?
