Now, if you've just gone through a breakup, then chances are that you might be wondering, "does my ex miss me at all?"
Or is this more like the phrase "out of sight, out of mind"?
So here's the deal...
Whether your ex misses you or not depends on how the breakup ended.
In certain situations...
Your ex will most likely miss you and may even reach out to you on their own.
But in other situations...
Your ex might not even think of you at all and might even be happy they're not with you anymore.
Yes, it's harsh but that's the reality.
With that said, if you had a great relationship with your ex before things turned bad...
Your ex should miss you to a certain extent.
So how do you know if your ex misses you at all?
And if you're not sure if your ex misses you, how can you get your ex to miss you?
In this post, I will go through the most common situations that you might be in...
And let you have an insight into your ex's current psychology on whether or not your ex misses you...
And how to get your ex to miss you and eventually reach out to you.
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What Makes An Ex Miss You?
So, before you can know whether or not your ex misses you...
You want to understand what makes your ex miss you in the first place.
Here are a few things that will make an ex miss you...
1) Your breakup happened recently
If your ex just broke up with you very recently...
Then there's a big chance that your ex will miss you.
That's because your ex will most likely feel different now that your ex is not with you.
For example, when you two were still together and the relationship was still going good...
You two would probably contact each other daily...
Have activities and do things together...
And would say sweet things to each other.
After the breakup, your ex will most likely feel the void of you not being there anymore.
And this can get your ex to miss the good times you both had.
2) There was no contact with your ex for more than 3 months
If you had not contacted your ex for more than 3 months...
Then there's a chance your ex will miss you, even if the relationship ended badly.
That's because as time passes, any negative feelings will start to gradually fade away.
For example, think about a time when your ex really pissed you off that was more than a year ago.
Do you still have that same anger and resentment towards your ex as you did then?
Chances are that you don't feel that same way anymore right?
You may have even forgotten about it until reading this.
That's because as time passes, we all tend to forget the negative feelings gradually.
So when the negative feelings in your ex start to fade with time...
What can be left is the positive feelings that your ex remembered of you.
While that's not in all cases...
If the good times in your relationship was very enjoyable, your ex will most likely think back to those times.
And when your ex thinks of those times, they can start to miss you.
3) You both have been in contact for some time and the past few interactions were positive
If you both have been keeping in contact with each other...
And every interaction you had with your ex was a very positive one with both sides laughing and enjoying the conversation...
Then chances are that your ex misses you.
That's because when you have good interaction with your ex...
It lets your ex remember the good times you both had in the relationship.
And that can get your ex to want to ultimately try in the relationship with you again.
Now that you know what makes an ex misses you...
The next thing to know is whether or not there is a possibility for your ex to miss you in your current situation.
Here are a few situations that you might be in...
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Does My Ex Miss Me If We Have Not Been In Contact For Some Time?
If you haven't been in contact with your ex for some time after the breakup...
Then there's a big possibility that your ex misses you if the breakup wasn't a nasty one.
And by nasty, I mean there was no shouting, fighting, begging...
Or anything that will make your ex feel negative towards you.
If you both had not been in contact for some time and your breakup was a rather pleasant one...
Then your ex should miss you to a certain extent.
And the surest way to know if your ex misses you is if your ex reaches out to you on their own.
If your ex can open up their phone, scroll to your name and type out a message to you...
You can be sure that your ex is thinking of you.
And the reason your ex is thinking of you is that your ex misses you.
Is it enough for your ex to want you back?
That's certainly a possibility.
In fact, I've recently got a coaching client that got his ex back even before we executed the full plan for him.
Just as we were about to reach out to his ex, his ex first reached out to him.
And during this time, I guided him on how to respond to his ex...
But more importantly, how to build up positive feelings in his ex towards him.
This was what he sent me shortly after what I told him to do:
"I've done everything you told me and I just put my heart out into everything we have done lately and our communication and she's done the same we have been cooking together, cleaning together and sharing good quality time! We have bounded more than ever in this last week she asked me to move in with her again! Things are really getting way better and this relationship will work out really well because she thinks I'm a great guy and I think she's the best woman ever. Now that's she's getting herself together we will work on us harder than ever. Thank you Louise!"
So as you can see, if your ex misses you...
Your ex can reach out to you and that is your opportunity to build up positive feelings in your ex again...
And that can potentially lead to getting back with your ex.
Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?
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Does My Ex Miss Me If I'm Blocked?
I'll put it straight to you - while it's possible that your ex can miss you even if your ex blocked you ...
Chances are that your ex wouldn't really miss you.
If you are blocked...
It only means that you had said or done something to your ex to push them enough to want to block you.
But that doesn't mean that you can't get back with your ex again.
Just because your ex doesn't miss you now, doesn't mean you both will never be together again.
I've had many coaching clients who were blocked by their ex when they came to me for help.
But they eventually still got together with their ex.
So if you're blocked, it means your ex right now has a negative perception of you.
The key here is to do the right things from here onwards to change your ex's negative perception of you...
And if you consistently let your ex feel positive towards you...
Then that can eventually get your ex back again.
Does My Ex Miss Me If We Are In Contact Frequently?
Now, you may be in a situation where you can't avoid contact with your ex.
For example, I've had coaching clients who were in the following situations:
- Work together with their ex
- In the same class as their ex
- Live together with their ex
- Have kids together with their ex
- Other arrangements where they can't avoid contact with their ex
So does your ex miss you if you both are in either of the above situations?
The answer is that it's possible.
It's possible if right now you are letting your ex feel good about them whenever you both are in contact.
This is especially so if the breakup was because your ex felt negative towards you.
It may be because of frequent arguments, quarrels or fights in the relationship...
Or that you may have neglected your ex in the relationship and taken your ex for granted...
Or anything that lets your ex feel negative towards you.
If you contrast how you were like compared to before...
And let your ex feel like you are back to the person your ex first fell in love with ...
Then that can get your ex to miss you.
You see, no one gets into a relationship just to have the relationship end in a breakup.
As much as possible, we all want to stay in the relationship because that's the reason we got into one I in the first place.
That means that if you hadn't changed and let your ex feel negative in the relationship...
Chances are that your ex wouldn't even have broken up with you.
So when you let your ex feel that you're not the same person your ex first fell in love with...
It will let your ex start to remember why your ex got together with you in the first place.
Will My Ex Miss Me If I Don't Contact My Ex?
There is the saying that goes, " Absence makes the heart grow fonder ".
So if you don't contact your ex, you'd be letting "absence" work in your favor.
Regardless if your relationship ended badly or not...
There's no denying that you both have had good times.
And that your ex was attracted to you before.
Otherwise, your ex wouldn't have gotten together with you in the first place.
So when you don't contact your ex, your ex would certainly be thinking of you to a certain extent.
And it can get your ex to miss you.
More specifically, your ex would miss the good times with you.
Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?
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How to Get Your Ex to Miss You
As mentioned above, if you don't contact your ex...
That can get your ex to miss you.
But apart from not contacting your ex...
Are there other ways to get your ex to miss you?
Here are 3 ways to get your ex to miss you:
1) Friendly Gestures
If you are not blocked by your ex and your last conversation was a positive one...
Then doing what I call "Friendly Gestures" can get your ex to miss you.
What are Friendly Gestures?
A Friendly Gesture is simply giving something to your ex that does not come across as trying to win your ex back.
For example, at this time of writing, the Coronavirus pandemic is upon us.
During this time, masks, hand sanitizers, and immune-boosting supplements have become more important than ever.
So if you send a "care package" consisting of such items...
It would be considered a Friendly Gesture as it's not a gift you would send to win someone back.
But rather, it's something your ex would most probably need in times like this.
So by doing this Friendly Gesture, it can get your ex to feel you still care for them...
And that can get your ex to remember how it was like when you two were still together.
2) Helping Your Ex
The next way to let your ex miss you is by helping your ex in an area your ex needs help in.
By helping your ex in an area they need help in...
It would let your ex be thankful towards you and that can also let your ex feel you care.
For example, I have a coaching client whose ex has trouble finding a job for months.
So I told my client that if he could help his ex get a job...
That would not only let his ex feel positive towards him but also miss him.
So my client went to seek his contacts and managed to help his ex get several interviews with companies that are hiring.
I also told my client to help in any way possible to prepare his ex for the interview.
After a couple of weeks, his ex landed not one but three job offers.
This led to his ex feeling so happy and after a couple of months later, they got back together.
If Your Ex Misses You, Can You Get Your Ex Back?
The biggest thing to understand is your ex's psychology.
You see, even if your ex really misses you...
It may not be enough to want to get back with you.
Why?
That's because of fear.
More specifically, the fear of getting hurt again.
While your ex may miss you, it doesn't resolve the fact that there are still underlying issues in the relationship.
And if those issues aren't resolved in your ex's mind...
Then no matter how much your ex misses you, your ex still wouldn't want to get back with you.
And it's because fear is stopping them from doing so.
The biggest roadblock in your ex's way of getting back with you is the fear of getting hurt again.
Your ex most likely fears that nothing will change in the relationship if you both get back together again.
And your ex fears that if you both get back together again...
Sooner or later, the relationship issues that plagued you two would arise...
And that would lead to you both breaking up again.
So the only way to get your ex back again is if you can resolve these fears in your ex towards you.
Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?
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How to Resolve the Fear Holding Your Ex Back
To resolve the fear your ex has is to address the relationship issues that plagued our relationship head-on.
And to do that, you need to first identify exactly what are the relationship issues that caused the downfall of the relationship.
If you're not sure what the issues are, then answer this question:
Compare the You that your ex fell in love with and the You that your ex broke up with - what's the difference?Most of the time, these issues lie in you becoming a different person than who you were at the start of the relationship.
Once you have identified the issues, ask yourself how you can change so that these issues no longer become a problem.
For example, if one of the issues is that you were too needy and clingy in the relationship...
To resolve it, you simply stop being needy and clingy.
Telling your ex you will change rarely works.
So instead of telling your ex that you have changed ...
Let your ex EXPERIENCE a different you from the negative perception your ex has of you.
That means in each contact you have with your ex...
Refrain from asking questions that make your ex feel you are needy and clingy.
And if the issue is that you were too negative...
Then whenever you have contact with your ex, stop complaining about things that are going wrong in your life...
And start saying positive things that can also cheer up and encourage your ex to feel more positive.
And if the issue is that you were too criticizing...
Then whenever you have any contact with your ex, start praising your ex and letting your ex feel good about themselves.
Once you consistently do these over a period of time...
It will get your ex to realize that you have changed.
And when they start to realize that, they will want to start exploring the relationship with you again.
Your Next Step
IMPORTANT: Before you try and get your ex back...
You need to first find out whether there's still any hope in trying to get your ex back.
The last thing you want to do is to chase a relationship that will never come to fruition again.
Click the image below to take a short 2-minute quiz to find out whether it's too late to get your ex back (it's free!):
