Diary #473

When one is neuroatypical, it’s necessary to come up with strategies – what the young folks call “life hacks” – to adjust for all the various ways in which one’s brain and nervous system are maladapted for life in a world designed by the neurotypical.  For example, I’ve talked about the coping strategies I’ve designed for living with severe vertigo, and my entire career serves as a workaround for my inability to handle bureaucratic systems and my intolerance for any attempt to assert authority over me.  And when one suffers from a seasonal anxiety disorder exacerbated by excessive daylight, but lives in a place where there’s enough light at 8:54 PM to take this selfie in one’s car, it’s helpful if one can figure out a way to dampen neural activity enough to relax and sleep (because adult life does not allow one to simply blow everything off for four months of every year).  Well, I’ve finally found one: I simply start my edibles earlier than I do in other seasons.  Last week I found that starting even an hour or 90 minutes earlier than I normally would makes a huge difference, and on Friday I decided to start a largish dose really early (like 8 PM) and was delighted to have about three hours of good quality tripping before I coasted into that twilight zone between “stoned” and “asleep” a bit after midnight.  You’d think that loss of sober hours would result in a drop in productivity, but nope; I actually managed to get more accomplished last week than I typically would.  I’m guessing it’s because my brain is calmer and quieter after a proper rest, so though the quantity of productive hours is less, the quality is higher.  Which is probably what my friends have been trying to tell me for years, but my life had to be arranged in such a way that I could take advantage of the advice.  Oh well, better late than never.