Diary #385

I used to be able to count on autumn lifting my spirits, but it didn’t really happen last year and it certainly hasn’t this year.  I think the problem is that my natal month and those bordering it have brought too much trauma and stress into my life over the past decade; it was the season when a lot of the big relationship problems with Matt occurred, and the season when a lot of the most difficult passages with Jae fell.  It’s also the month when the Gestapo pull their annual “Operation Cross-Country” mass coordinated pogrom scheme, and last year we had to endure months of slow business due to the quadrennial shitshow.  Though the trafficking hysteria is showing signs of imminent implosion, it’s not gone yet and things will get worse before they get better; last week Eros (the site from which a good half of my own business comes) was raided by the feds, and though it hasn’t been taken down yet the entire demimonde is once again shaken and stressed by the terrorist actions of US “authorities”.  It’s impossible to tell if this will cause yet another slowdown in sex workers’ business, but if it does it will hurt me both financially and psychologically; there are only three things nowadays which pull my head out of the dark crypt it normally inhabits, and one of them is work.  The other two are getting high and spending time with people I love, and it’s best when my waking hours are filled with a combination of all three.  Alas, Lorelei was away at a Doctor Who convention this past weekend, so we didn’t get our normal date night; we’ll have a short visit tomorrow, though, and here’s a pic from last week (she sometimes likes to play with my hair).  And Grace is coming up from Sunset for a couple of days, so that’ll be nice too.  And in the meantime…well, that’s why the gods invented mind-altering substances.