"In Hinduism, dharma signifies behaviors that are considered to be in accord with rta, the order that makes life and universe possible,[10][note 1] and includes duties, rights, laws, conduct, virtues and ‘‘right way of living’’.[7] In Buddhismdharma means "cosmic law and order",[10] but is also applied to the teachings of the Buddha.[10] In Buddhist philosophy, dhamma/dharma is also the term for "phenomena".[11][note 2] In Jainism dharma refers to the teachings of the Jinas[10] and the body of doctrine pertaining to the purification and moral transformation of human beings. For Sikhs, the word dharm means the "path of righteousness."
So even though there are nuances and even large differences in meaning between each faith traditions that have used the word dharma since the ancient Vedic tradition that spawned Hinduism then Buddhism and so on, there seems to be an underlying idea that dharma is being in harmony with the ultimate reality or guiding force.Rock Waterman has said that he sees the Buddhist term of right action to translate as righteousness in our tradition. And that right action is dharma. The Jains referring to the path of righteousness as their view of dharma backs that take up I think.Some people say that dejavu is the universe sending you a sign that you're on the right track or in harmony with whatever's been planned for you. I like the idea but I'm not so sure about it. Others say you cannot fight your fate but I disagree. People and events that are fated may enter your live but you can still say no to them. You can choose to keep them or wash your hands of them. It's up to you. Your life is the product of your choices.Fate may bring things into our lives but we choose how to respond to them.I believe I am supposed to be with my wife. But I was so scared when we first started dating that I broke up with her, twice. And through all my antics and my hospitalization she has stood by me. She says she has felt we were meant for each other as well which is why she puts up with me. I wasn't prepared to be a husband and stepdad and I was scared but it was in the journey that I became ready for it.My wife was supposed to come into my life but it was our choices that decided the outcome. Sometimes we make choices and sometimes choices make us.Dharma also reminds me of what Buddha taught here: "We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world."
Our lives are ultimately the result of our thoughts. What we think pushes us one way or the other. I think Christ touched on this when He said: "Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man."The contents of our hearts are what makes us a sinner or a saint. We cannot change who we have been or even who we are but we can change who we become. We can change that based on which side of ourselves we nourish, the good or the bad.What we do is largely based on what we say and what we say is based on what we think.Saul of Tarsus thought that Christians were the enemy of the Judea 2,000 years ago. He was so certain of it he was partially responsible for the death of the first Christian martyr Stephen.But in pursuit of the early Christian movement he met Christ and changed his name to Paul and became one of the most influential missionaries in history and he wrote 2/3 of the New Testament.Any of us can change and often people with the ugliest pasts create the most beautiful futures.The problem is that we think we have the time. We can never truly know how much time we have.But in terms of how our thoughts creat our futures since I deal with mental illness there are what's called thinking errors that I am often guilty of. Here are some examples that I think many of us may be guilty of: 1. Black-and-white thinkingWhen you’re thinking in black-and-white, you see everything in terms of being either good or bad with nothing in between. For example: either you’re great, or you’re a loser; If you don’t look like a model, you must be ugly; if you do something wrong, then you are completely bad.
The challenge: Look for shades of grayIt’s important to avoid thinking about things in terms of extremes. Most things aren’t black-and-white, but somewhere in-between. Just because something isn’t completely perfect doesn’t mean that it’s a total disaster.
Ask yourself:
- Is it really so bad, or am I seeing things in black-and-white?
- How else can I think about the situation?
- Am I taking an extreme view?
2. Unreal ideal
Another common thinking error is to make unfair comparisons between certain individuals and yourself. When you do this, you compare yourself with people who have a specific advantage in some area. Making unfair comparisons can leave you feeling inadequate.
The challenge: Stop making unfair comparisonsAsk yourself:
- Am I comparing myself with people who have a particular advantage?
- Am I making fair comparisons?
3. Filtering
When you filter, first you hone in on the negative aspects of your situation. Then you ignore or dismiss all the positive aspects.
The challenge: Consider the whole pictureAsk yourself:
- Am I looking at the negatives, while ignoring the positives?
- Is there a more balanced way to look at this situation?
4. Personalizing: The self-blame game
When you personalize, you blame yourself for anything that goes wrong, even when it’s not your fault or responsibility.
The challenge: Find all the causesAsk yourself:
- Am I really to blame? Is this all about me?
- What other explanations might there be for this situation?
5. Mind-reading
We often think we know what other people are thinking. We assume that others are focused on our faults and weaknesses—but this is often wrong! Remember: your worst critic is probably you.
The challenge: Don’t assume you know what others are thinkingAsk yourself:
- What is the evidence? How do I know what other people are thinking?
- Just because I assume something, does that mean I’m right?
6. Exaggerating
When things go wrong, you might have a tendency to exaggerate the consequences and imagine that the results will be disastrous.
The challenge: Put it in perspectiveAsk yourself:
- What’s the worst that can happen?
- What’s the best that can happen?
- What’s most likely to happen?
- Will this matter in five years?
- Is there anything good about the situation?
- Is there any way to fix the situation?
7. Over-generalizing
Over-generalizing is a lot like exaggeration. When you over-generalize, you exaggerate the frequency of negative things in your life, like mistakes, disapproval and failures. Typically you might think to yourself: I always make mistakes, or everyone thinks I’m stupid.
The challenge: Be specificAsk yourself:
- Am I over-generalizing?
- What are the facts? What are my interpretations?
8. Fact versus feeling
Sometimes you might confuse your thoughts or feelings with reality. You might assume that your perceptions are correct.
The challenge: Stick to the factsAsk yourself:
- Am I confusing my feelings with the facts? Just because I’m feeling this way, does that mean my perceptions are correct?
- Am I thinking this way just because I’m feeling bad right now?
9. Labeling
When you use label, you might call yourself or other people names. Instead of being specific—for example, saying “That was a silly thing to do” —you make negative generalizations about yourself or other people by saying things like “I’m ugly,” or “she’s an idiot.”
The challenge: Judge the situation, not the personAsk yourself:
- What are the facts and what are my interpretations?
- Just because there is something that I’m not happy with, does that mean that it’s totally no good?
10. ‘Can’t Stand-itis’
Some people get intolerant when they have to do things they don’t enjoy. They tell themselves that they “can’t stand” certain things instead of acknowledging that they don’t enjoy them. As a result, they easily become frustrated and angry.
The challenge: Accept that frustration is a normal part of lifeAsk yourself:
- I don’t enjoy it, but I can stand it.
- This is a hassle, and that’s O.K.! Life is full of hassles."
