Over the last six months I've spent a lot of time thinking about life and how I want my life and the boy's life to look. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not happy with our life. I'm happy with Tiger and the boys but I'm not happy with the way we are living our life. About a month ago I started reading a blog called Five Fairies and a Fella. It's written by Jules who has terminal cancer and she isn't expecting to live much longer. One of her posts really got me thinking. She was talking about how she'd thought that she'd have a lifetime with her kids, she'd see them grow up, get married, have children etc.
That got me thinking. What if I don't have a lifetime? What would I do differently if I had a short period of time left to live? What would I want my life and the boys life to look like? Any why aren't I living that way now? I would want my life to be different, totally different. I want a smaller house, a cosy little cottage with land and trees around. I want the boys to be free to roam around the property, to have trees to climb and a cubby house to play in. I want them to have grand adventures. I want our life to be exploring and traveling and having fun. I don't want it to be about possessions and working hard to pay off a mortgage. I'd be a hippy, growing my own fruit and veggies, making my own skincare, meditating regularly, I'd be calm and serene not stressed and on the edge. I'm not interested in having a huge house and lots of stuff. I want lots of photos and memories, not stuff. Stuff is irrelevant.
I want the boys to look back on their childhood with joy and remember all the wonderful adventures we had, nights spent by the campfire looking at the stars, carefree days and snuggly nights. When I think about the childhood I want for the boys the words that come to mind are free range. I want them to be free to roam and explore and be happy.
This week I started to declutter my life again. First up was the boys plastic drawer. It sounds silly, but it was a start. I went through all my skin care and donated a huge pile of products to the womens shelter. It felt good. My wardrobe is next. Anything that doesn't make me feel good is going. A clutter free house equals a clutter free mind. When Tiger gets home I'm going to tackle to junk room. And I'm going to be brutal. A whole pile of things will go. I'll donate what I can, give away what I can and the rest will be recycled or thrown in the bin. My maternity clothes and newborn baby items will go to the pregnancy help centre, other clothes will go to the women's shelter etc.
And that's it. I have no idea what the purpose of this post is but there it is.
