FOTM has a new contributor!
He is Redneck American who is the source of two very funny photoshops of the POS published on FOTM:
Although Redneck American has his own blog, In My Not So Humble Opinion, he has generously decided to throw in his lot with us. LOL
Below is his first introductory post. Please give him a very warm “Welcome”!!!
~Eowyn
Defining a Redneck American
This may or may not be that easy to explain, but I’m going to give it the old college try.
To give you an idea of what I mean by redneck American, let me tell you about the locale I live in and what a few of the other residents are like.
You see, I live smack dab in the middle of two areas. Sort of a ‘be-twixt and between’ zone, if you will.
Most people I know would call this area a borderland, of sorts. It’s an area that’s situated on the outskirts of town. Not quite rural yet not urban. Redneck but semi-sorta citified.
Most of the folks who live in these parts are hard-working Americans who are of the ‘God, country, and the freedom to pursue Life, Liberty and happiness in it’s varying forms’ persuasion.
Of course, there are exceptions.
You see, living where I do, you get exposed (sometimes literally) to differing viewpoints and lifestyles.
I once wrote about certain folks I knew that had a rather unusual outlook, especially when it came to clothing, as it was often optional.
You see, our neighbor Mr. Jacks was a firm believer in all things natural. He adhered to a less conventional lifestyle. His wife was of Native American descent, so it never surprised us if we saw him with his wife and kids all dressed up and holding a Indian type celebration outside. That is till the rain dance.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention Mr. Jacks was rather portly, as in he ate at the low end of the trough. His wife wasn’t missing many meals either.
Imagine if you will, a rather ”hefty” pair of adults adorned with feathers in hair, painted faces and upper torsos, moccasins – and nothing else. For lack of a better term, they were ” hooping and hollering in gibberish,” as another neighbor put it.
It was a rain dance. Au naturel.
I firmly believe that the sight of two naked, semi-painted, rather plump adults probably scared away any clouds for a hundred miles….
Needless to say there was a small celebration when they moved away.
Anyway….
Living on the edge of both town and a ‘redneck suburbia’, you have to learn how to fit in
I can dress up and hob-nob at the cotillion or country club with the best of them or I can fit right in with the boys down at Bubba’s Feed-Seed and Pool Hall or hanging with my buddy Vern down at the Moose Lodge…
Especially when it’s the Ladies Auxiliary wet T-shirt night. Ahem…
The point I’m trying to make is that there’s not too many social circles that I can’t fit in, unless it’s more of a Female thing like the D.A.R. and then I wouldn’t cause I would look funny in a dress. And no, I’ve never worn one.
At least not sober.
Anyhow…
I once heard that Life is best enjoyed when you have the things close by that make you happy. Factor in a few good friends and neighbors who are a bit like-minded as you and well — life can be pretty darn good.
So, as you read my posts; past, present and future, keep in mind that they come from a guy whose outlook on things may not be as “p.c.” as some and not as hard-core as others.
I call things as I see them. Don’t sugar coat neither. I don’t hold to any particular party line as I can’t see too much difference between the two.
Above all, I hold fast to ideas that maybe a tad more conservative than liberal; especially when it comes to God, Liberty and where this nation is and needs to go, especially in light of the current state of affairs.
And that, my good people, is how I define being a Redneck American.
‘Nuff said.
