I see you over there on the bench, staring at my family in a real creepy way. It feels good to judge mothers for daring to own a phone, while simultaneously being the enormous hypocritical idiot who is frantically checking his Facebook to see how many people liked his sanctimonious, crap chain letter, doesn’t it? You did a great job of crafting a letter full of sentence fragments with the grammatical skills of a fifth grader. Good thing most people that share these things are too stupid to notice.
But Man, let me tell you why your letter is the single dumbest thing I've read this year (And that's saying something, because I have also read this. And this.)
My little girl is spinning round and round making her dress twirl. She does this every day, and while you may think it's the most extraordinary thing you've ever seen - I assure you it's not. I don't cheer my child on for every banal thing she does all the live long day, because I am trying to actually raise functional members of society, not special snowflakes that think every damn thing they do deserves applause. She keeps glancing over to make sure I'm not noticing her pinch her brother.
I am.
My little boy keeps shouting, “Mom, MOM watch this!” You see me "barely glancing" his way, but you don't notice the death stare I'm giving him for not being able to entertain himself AT A PARK for five minutes. He saw it. His shoulders slumped for a moment until he remembered he was AT A PARK and needs to get over it and start playing.
Now I'm pushing my baby in the swing. She loves it! Cooing and smiling with every push. I'd like to be paying more attention to her, but my eyes are on my phone frantically checking the local sex offender registry to make sure this creepy weirdo that's been staring at my family for the last 10 minutes isn't dangerous.
You seem to be so disturbed that I'm looking at my phone - maybe it's a generational gap. See, you probably only have one of those phones with the large numbers on it that has no data plan. Mine is like a mini computer. You know what that is, right? It's like having a mobile office that I can bring along with me wherever I go. It's the single greatest invention for women like myself who work from home.
My kids certainly are a prize, but as a working mother, I am a ninja-like multi-tasker. And since I have three kids to take care of, bills to pay, and work that needs to be done I don't have the luxury that you seem to have to fart around all day projecting all my life's failures on random people at the park.
Since you are sitting, lonely at this park you probably didn't show your kids what a priority they were, did you? Your wife left you because you spent one to many nights with a bottle instead of your family. You missed your kids' childhood - and now they don't let you see your grandchildren, right? Why would you be alone at this park if you had someone to show the undivided attention you seem to think is so necessary to maintain a family? Wow, see what a giant asshole I sound like? Isn't it strange when someone who knows nothing about your life makes enormous assumptions about it?
Thanks for taking the time to craft that steaming pile of judgment shit-letter, and spread it all around the Internet. You've shown that you know nothing about raising kids. Anyone who has spent any time caring for children knows that you don't need to have your eyes transfixed and be hanging on their every word like some kind of mom-zombie to be a good parent.
But kudos to you for your 135,000 Facebook shares, asshole.
