Considering that it took me over half my adult life to even get up the nerve to take a full Big Boy bite of sushi, I’m feeling pretty secure in saying thanks, but I’m going to have to pass on this latest fad from Japan. And I think I’m ok with that.
Even though I’m sure I could totally rock a killah Hip Hop diamond grill, or a simple yet understated Yo Momma gold tooth to any club in the hood (“Where all my girls at–?”) I’m not so sure about Tooth Tattoos. Since it normally takes me what seems to be a good solid twenty to get ready for bed every night, what with the pre-rinse, brush, floss and post rinse production that my oral hygiene has morphed into over the years, I’m not sure if I want to mess up my White Strip handiwork with Hello Kitty’s face.
The latest thing to hit Japan is the temporary enamel tattoo fad. You can have a pattern, a color, a cartoon character, a celebrity or even something to match your outfit glued onto your chops and then hit the streets looking like you forgot to grab a toothpick and mint on your way out of TGIFridays.
Your artwork of choice is glued to your overbite and secured with some kind of laser beam light. Supposedly they come off eventually, but I’m thinking that the directions on the box aren’t very specific.
Those crazy Japanese kids are all hitting the crowded streets with Sake soaked Anime Enamel hanging out from under their top lips, or flapping patterns to match their polished fingernails. If you’re really lucky they might even bust out a good old fashioned belly laugh and flash you a mouthful of Pokemon. Up close and personal, it is kind of trendy-cool and funky…but how often do you actually get that close to someone else’s front teeth? I mean without a pair of hygienist gloves or dinner and a movie first? Seriously.
From across the table it just looks like you got some stuff going on up in there.
But now that you mention it, the Black Power Ranger would look pretty fly with my new Banana Republic blazer. And Project Runway did just say that this Fall is the season for bold fashion choices.
I wonder how many teeth I would need for all the Real Housewives?
