According to a research performed by career intelligence website Vault in 2011 59% of employees had dated a colleague and in 2013 The Daily Mail estimated that relationships started in a work environment have the highest chance of turning to marriage. A few years later, the situation is no different – many of us fall for cute colleagues and I married one, so I guess I confirm the statistics.
If you are part of the whatever percentage of women who’d like to date a workmate, you know that the situation is a tricky one. Many companies frown upon such relationships and some have straightforward policies against them, but love concurs all, don’t you think? It is important to act if you really like someone, but it is also important to know when to stop. So how do you act and how do you know?
Get him!
Flirt under the radar
This classic female approach is beneficial in two ways – it perfectly fits the delicate situation you are in and it creates an aura of mystery that men love. Flirting under the radar means expressing your feelings in a way that keeps him wondering. For example, instead of telling him “You’re so smartâ€� you can say “I love what you did in this situation, I think it was the right thing to do.â€� Or laugh at his jokes and then disagree with him in a playful way. Keep him confused. It’s not very logical, but men love it. It’s what they call “the huntâ€�.
Get him out of work
Whatever you talk about at work, it will never go past talking, because you are at work. You need to get him out of the office to see if something is meant to happen. If there is a Christmas or other company party soon, that would be your moment. If not, you can always initiate an innocent get together. Talking about innocent…
When me and my ex colleague, now husband first felt attracted to each other, talking over our work Skype became a habit. There always seemed to be a project we had to discuss or a silly e-mail we could laugh about. Then, one beautiful day, we both commented on a status someone posted in the company’s secret Facebook group, and that’s how our Facebook chats started. No one knew for months something was going on and we didn’t feel pressured – it was just innocent talks. Until it became a marriage. Now, not so innocent.
Now let’s fast-forward and imagine you have done all that already, but not much has actually happened between you two. Here is how to test if something ever will and if not, move on for good.
Forget him!
Be realistic
You are not a teenager anymore and surely you want much more from a guy than good looks. So now that you have had the chance to talk to him a bit, see his sense of humor, spend some time together out of work, ask yourself if he is more or less attractive to you. If a woman really wants a relationship, she is sometimes willing to overlook obvious deal-breakers, thinking that she could change a man or that it is too soon to judge. Trust your intuition and if your cute colleague turned into a frog, have the strength to move on.
Test
There are a few harmless tests you can do to confirm whether he likes you. The first one I call the Chocolate Test. In one of our conversations I mention my favorite chocolate is milk with raisins and hazelnuts. I wait some time. In a convenient moment I ask him to get me a chocolate without specifying what kind. If he knows, trust me, it’s no coincidence.
Another great trick is leading a conversation without “leaving the door openâ€�. So if he says “Hey, how was your weekend?â€� you can say “Great! We went to the movies.â€� Now he can continue the conversation or he may not, because you didn’t ask him a question. Let’s say he continues with “What did you see?â€� and you reply “The Hobbit.â€� Again, he can continue the conversation or not. Do this a couple of times. If you notice he keeps talking to you even when you don’t make it easy for him, this means it is important for him to talk to you.
If the results of these tests are in favor of the cute colleague, you can go on with another round of Get Him! tactics – it is just a matter of time for him to give in. If the results are negative pick another target.
Have you had a crush on a cute colleague? Share how it went bellow. For more tools and tricks for getting the guy, read on my book Dating Guide for Girls and Women: From "I like him" to "I date him".
